If These 8 Kinds Of Nigerian Students Don’t Make Heaven, We’ll Protest

September 28, 2020

Oh, ye believers, I know you want to make heaven, but if everything we hear is true, not everyone will clinch the ticket. I don’t know really know how this whole thing works, but if there is indeed heaven and hell, these students have to be among the first sets of people to be admitted. You agree with me, don’t you?

1. The students that agree to help you print and submit your assignments

As these people come through for us on days when we don’t have anything to do in school but submit an assignment, so shall God grant them easy passage into heaven.

2. The students that help you keep a seat when you’re running late to class

This is questionable behaviour, but since they ensure you don’t stay on your feet for the duration of the class, they deserve to be among the first sets of people to make heaven.

3. The students that help you write attendance, even if you forget to tell them 

They have to make heaven, for obvious reasons.

4. Students that organise tutorials when it’s time for an exam

They give you a fighting chance here, so they deserve all the good of the afterlife.

5. The students brave enough to leave the class before the lecturer when the hour is over 

Their kind is rare but they do the Lord’s work, and the lord has to reward them.

6. The students that take your food off your electric stove if it’s burning and alert you

Ultimate love day 26 wow

They could have ignored it or stolen it, but they decided to do good. They have to enter heaven.

7. The students that write notes in class and allow you to make photocopies

They are the best!

8. The students that always have money and ready to loan

They don’t have to, but they do. Hell is not their home.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

January 26, 2022

Black don’t crack, black don’t crack but they won’t tell you all the things they do a maintain that gorgeousness. Because we are so generous so we compiled a list of health care tips for 30+ women.

Recommended Quizzes

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

June 14, 2020

Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]

More from Aluta And Chill

August 20, 2021

Sitting for any exam can be tedious, how much more, almighty JAMB. And checking your result? That can be a nerve-wracking process, but you have to go through with it because how else are you going to get into university? Better to do so as soon as possible so you can put your mind at […]

June 29, 2021

As Told To Itohan When I was in JS2, I started dating a lot of people consecutively. I was never really single. I dated two best friends. I even once dated a set of twins and their elder brother. Most of them were older and bought me gifts, which was risky because I was young […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X