Oh, ye believers, I know you want to make heaven, but if everything we hear is true, not everyone will clinch the ticket. I don’t know really know how this whole thing works, but if there is indeed heaven and hell, these students have to be among the first sets of people to be admitted. You agree with me, don’t you?
1. The students that agree to help you print and submit your assignments
As these people come through for us on days when we don’t have anything to do in school but submit an assignment, so shall God grant them easy passage into heaven.
2. The students that help you keep a seat when you’re running late to class
This is questionable behaviour, but since they ensure you don’t stay on your feet for the duration of the class, they deserve to be among the first sets of people to make heaven.
3. The students that help you write attendance, even if you forget to tell them
They have to make heaven, for obvious reasons.
4. Students that organise tutorials when it’s time for an exam
They give you a fighting chance here, so they deserve all the good of the afterlife.
5. The students brave enough to leave the class before the lecturer when the hour is over
Their kind is rare but they do the Lord’s work, and the lord has to reward them.
6. The students that take your food off your electric stove if it’s burning and alert you
They could have ignored it or stolen it, but they decided to do good. They have to enter heaven.
7. The students that write notes in class and allow you to make photocopies
They are the best!
8. The students that always have money and ready to loan
They don’t have to, but they do. Hell is not their home.