Ah, the English language. The multi-faceted, multi-use tool of communication that a few white people on a small island in the Pacific ocean forced on a country. It’s flexible and dynamic. You can joke with it, sing with it, and cry in it. You could even say the same sentences in differing situations and still […]
We did one for food habits and now we are back with more insights to share as regards TV habits. Please treat as important, if the person you are about to hand over your mumu button to checks up to 5 things on this list, fam you need abort mission. 1. If they prefer to […]
Which do I go with??
Perhaps it skipped your attention The Imo State Government has passed a new Administration of Criminal Justice Laws No 2 of 2020. But criminal justice laws are supposed to be routine. Except that buried somewhere in Section 484 of the law is a hilarious and terrifying clause that gives the Governor the right to detain […]
Today’s Abroad Life subject is a woman who left Nigeria in 2016 to study in France. She talks about how her love for travelling has made her visit thirteen countries in the past four years, and how, now that she’s settled in Germany, she’s noticed that everyone minds their business too much. First things first, […]
In case, you slept yesterday afternoon and suddenly woke up this morning, well, good morning. But a lot has happened. The Federal Government directed that all Nigerians should go to all the banks they have an account in and fill something called a “Self Certification Form”. They say the BVN, National ID, Voter’s Card, Drivers […]
This is the broken news: Too tired and can’t read? Your government says you have to physically go to banks to obtain, complete and submit a “Self Certification Form”. The form is to certify your identity, in line with the Income Tax Regulation of 2019. And even if you have an account in five banks, […]
This evening, the official Twitter account of the FG put out a thread of tweets asking all account holders in financial institutions (banks, insurance companies etc.) to fill and submit a self-certification form to their financial institutions. The main gist is that every person with an account with any Nigerian financial institution is required to […]
A short poem: Roses are red Lagos traffic can leave you dead Nigeria will always “fight” corruption But we need more action! Gist: The Federal Government has approved a bill for the management of assets recovered from corruption. If this bill is signed into law, the “Proceeds of Crime Recovery and Management Act” will create […]
While making cutting motions on her clit with her fingers, a 5-year-old asked her mum in my presence what would happen if she cut her clit with a real knife.
Everyone looks forward to giving their babies really cute names, and there’s a wide array of names to choose from. The names in this article, however, don’t belong to babies. People with these names just appear out of nowhere. Check it out. 1. Odinaka You’ll never find a baby named Odinaka. Never. Odinakas suddenly appear […]
Okay, so if you’ve not seen Tinubu’s message to the Edo voters, find it here: Still didn’t watch it? Here’s a quick summary: Tinubu says Edo people should reject Godwin Obaseki in Edo’s Governorship election Tinubu says he has suffered with many others to bring about democracy in Nigeria Tinubu says Obaseki can’t understand the […]
“My body count is important to me.”
“How’s that N20k bottle of toner working out for you?”
Everyone has something they’re scared of. Some are pretty “normal”, while others might be considered a bit more “random” We asked 11 Nigerians to tell us their worst fears and here’s what they had to say. 1. Mary, 26 I hate saying it out loud, but I’m scared that my husband might die. There’s nothing […]
1. So, the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) has a new regulation. The SEC, in a statement on its website yesterday, stated that it will regulate crypto-token or crypto-coin investments when these investments qualify as ‘securities transactions’. 2. Chile, what does this mean? A ‘Securities transactions’ occurs whenever there has been a sale or purchase […]
“This is an ultra-modern pit latrine.”
Working in Nigeria can be hectic. Sometimes, hectic doesn’t just even describe it: try abusive. We asked some Nigerians to tell us their horrible job experiences and with some of the answers we got, we don’t know whether to cry or to just give them a hug. 1. Kafaya, 26 I worked for an advertising […]
Okay, so this is the jab: And then came the knockout: Well, that meins, no more dollars to import maize, chicken feed, palm oil, or whatever. Every part of the food you eat must be sourced from Nigeria. Now, asides from the fact that Buhari’s ‘direction’ clearly shows that the Central Bank of Nigeria under […]
1. First of all turn off your read receipts bro. You don’t need to give the information out. And they need to know that you only reply messages when you want to, not when you receive them or after you read them. You reply them when you want to bro. 2. If she sends more […]
The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a 39-year-old heterosexual woman who has only ever enjoyed sex with older men. Since she got married 10 years ago, she’s only enjoyed sex with her sugar daddies.
How APT Pensions got young Nigerians talking about Pension.
Blackness is an identity that black people all over the world sometimes struggle with. The irony, however, is that even though we all share this identity, we experience it differently because of the countries we live in. Spurred by the many different experiences she has lived through as a black person in Nigeria, the UK, […]
Are you obedient or deceitful?
The subject of today’s Abroad Life is a 22-year-old man who moved to the United States four years ago for school. He talks about how he went from being homesick, to never wanting to return to Nigeria, his plan to marry a white woman if all else fails and how he would’ve landed in Unilag after having sex in a public park.
Look, “The Lost Okoroshi” is not the only thing that is being lost nowadays. Just two days ago, Nigeria made its closing argument in an Italian Court over an oil case that has spanned 22 years and has cost us roughly 2 trillion naira in bad deals. Below, we give a quick snapshot of the […]
Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in: