As told to Kunle Ologunro
Recently, I asked people to tell me about the food issues in their relationship. I wanted to know what food-related compromise they had to make, what arguments. The result was this article 8 Nigerians Talk About Food Issues In Their Relationship.
Of all the stories I got, this one stood out: a talking stage that ended because of food. I thought it was interesting, the idea that a relationship might have happened if food didn’t change things.
I think you’ll find it interesting too.
I met this guy on Twitter, and we had been talking for a couple of months or thereabouts. Let’s call him Bolaji. We had an amazing connection, great chemistry and we literally used to talk 24/7. We even went on a couple of dates. He always said he liked me but even after going on dates, he didn’t make any move to take the relationship further. We were just stuck there. After a while, I typed up an epistle in my Notes, ready to end the talking stage which was dragging on forever. But then we had sex. Twice.
The first time it happened was a Thursday. I had something to do in his side of town; I told him earlier in the day that I would be in his area, and he said to please come visit him. It was dark when I finished up my work and I was already tired, but I’d promised him that I would come, so I went over. This was around 8pm.
He offered me a drink, but no food. I assumed it was because of how late it was, so I took the drink like that. The sex was amazing, and I knew I’d be back for more. By the end of the week, I went back. This time, the cab surge was ridiculous, so I used a BRT. It was already filled up, and for the entire duration of the journey—almost 2 hours, I stood. By the time I got to his place at about 5pm, my ankles were aching.
Again, he offered me a drink but no food. And just like the first time, I took the drink like that. After the first round of sex, he asked if I had eaten. I told him I ate a doughnut in the morning. He said okay, but still did not make any offer of food. 6pm, 7pm, 8pm, nothing. All this time, he kept mentioning how he needed to make some food for himself, but he never did anything to indicate that he was actually making the food.
I wanted to order food, but I thought it would be weird. By 9pm, my tummy was rumbling and I was planning to go back home. The surge was crazy, and I was on the app, struggling to find a cab. It was then that he stood up to go make his dinner and told me to call him if I needed anything. Eventually, I found a cab around 10pm. The fare was absurd, and the driver was annoying, but I needed to get home.
I got home around 12 midnight with mad hunger pangs. That was the trigger I needed to end it all. I sent that note the following morning.
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