We Ranked The Most Popular Fruits In Nigeria From Worst To Best

July 3, 2020

Now more than ever it’s important for us to keep healthy and get our nutrition right. It’s not enough to just say we are exercising and eating and fruits and vegetables, we have to do it. While there are some fruits I could happily eat for the rest of my life, there are some you couldn’t pay me to eat. I’ve ranked the most popular of them in Nigeria from worst to best 

Paw Paw 

I’ve never been able to place what my problem with Paw Paw is, but I absolutely can’t stand it. If you were to make an objective list of sweet fruits, you might include Paw Paw, but you couldn’t pay me to eat it. Its texture is so weird, it’s even worse when it has gone soft. And tastes even nastier in any other form or paired with any other fruit. Can you imagine drinking Paw Paw juice? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Guava

I don’t get Guavas. For such a small fruit, why are there so many seeds in it? Why is it so hard? Why does it make my teeth feel so weird every time I eat it? But most importantly, who in the world likes them?

Watermelon

I don’t know why anyone would go through the stress of cutting open a watermelon taking out the seeds and eating it when you can just drink water. Not to mention the added stress of having to spit out the seeds you missed with every bite. And what’s your reward after all this? Pretty much just slightly flavoured water that you can somehow chew. 2/10 will not recommend.

Orange

Is it weird to love orange juice but kind of dislike oranges as a fruit? I find eating an orange to be unnecessarily stressful when I can just squeeze the juice out and drink the best part straight up. Yes, I know eating the entire thing is good for you, but I’ll pass. 

Apple

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think apples are anyone’s favourite fruit. They are not the worst fruit, but they aren’t the best fruit. Apples are what I buy when I’ve been sitting in traffic for too long and the fear of diabetes won’t let me buy my tenth pure bliss. Also, green apples taste better than red apples don’t debate this.

Mango

I love mangoes. My problem with them is that for me to enjoy a mango it has to be many things. It has to be very firm so I can cut it into slices. If it’s even a little soft, I can’t eat it. It can’t be Cherry Mango because I find them a little too sweet. The skin can’t be too thin and it has to be sizable because I have no interest in eating around the seed until the hairs are completely white. 

Pineapple

Here’s my problem with pineapples asides the fact that they are a little stressful to peel. I can never tell the difference between the sweet and tart ones. I know some people are senseis with this and all they need to do is smell it. But I can’t. And I get very angry when I go through the stress of peeling a pineapple and getting slapped with tartness when I’m expecting sweetness. 

Agbalumo

Agbalumos only flaw is that it doesn’t grow year-round. It’s an absolute travesty that year after year we get to revel in its glory for only a couple of months. While I might not know how to pick a sweet pineapple, I have an eye for Agbalumo. The trick is the darker the skin, the sweeter the juice. You know your Agbalumo is perfect when it’s so sweet that you had to chew the skin into gum too.

Avocado 

Avocados are not really a fan favourite and I get why. But I’m here to convince you to give Avocado a chance. They may not be the sweetest fruits, but everything in your life need not be sweet. Avocados are purposely bland to give you an opportunity to create what you want from it. You can eat it with bread or fish and it really bangs with dry garri, thank me later. 

Banana

Banana is a perfect fruit. I can’t say we expected anything less from an offshoot of plantain. They are completely fuss-free. All you need to do is peel and eat. They are sweet. They go with everything from rice to groundnut. What’s not to love? P.S. if you’ve never eaten banana with rice you need to fix that ASAP.

Toketemu Ohwovoriole

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

February 4, 2020

Food is life, we agree. But do you know that while you’ve been playing it safe with food, some people are out there engaging in culinary BDSM? We know you don’t, and that’s why we brought you this to help you move your meal time from basic to advanced. Below is a list of weird […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Rich Nigerian Auntie
June 23, 2021

A rich Nigerian auntie doesn’t refer to those aunties from your father’s side that do nothing but comment on your weight and ask you when you’d be getting married. The rich Nigerian auntie is an aesthetic bigger than one person — and here’s how to be sure you are one… 1. You have the dress […]

June 23, 2021

They say, “money is not everything” but have you seen credit alerts? Particularly these 5 Types listed below? 1. Alert from someone who said “send your account number” ages ago This is how wide you’ll smile. May such people not sleep until they’ve credited you oh. 2. Salary alerts Especially when your salary has finished […]

June 23, 2021

Music they say gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. Music is healing, it is an explosive expression of humanity, something we are all touched by. No matter what culture we’re from, everyone loves music and that is why we are particularly excited about this […]

June 23, 2021

The morning after having sex should be the most romantic, regardless of the relationship you have with the woman you just had sex with. You have to be grateful for her act of service. How you greet her the morning after is the easiest way to show your gratitude. Here’s a list of ways to […]

Recommended Quizzes

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

More from Chopist

April 16, 2021

If you enjoy any of the fruits on this list, delete every tweet that suggests you’re broke and stop lying. 1. Strawberries Everyone that makes strawberry flavoured snacks or beverages is a dirty smelling liar. Strawberries are not sweet. They are sour as fuck. In addition to being sour, they’re also expensive as hell. So […]

March 18, 2021

One of the most thriving industries in Lagos is the restaurant industry, People are always looking for where to spend money when there is rice at home, in this economy? And on that salary? Anyways, here are a few tips on breaking into this industry. 1. Make sure it’s in a hidden location What’s fun […]

March 4, 2021

Onscreen chemistry is one thing Old Nollywood got right. Some actors and actresses just had this thing that left you rooting for them hard even when you don’t think you should be. We decided to rank the top five couples from Old Nollywood that were everything. Genevieve Nnaji and Emeka Ike I know Tony Umez […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X