We Ranked Your Favourite Childhood Biscuits From Worst To Best

January 22, 2021

When we talk about biscuits from our childhood, the usual favourites come to mind: Speedy, Digestives, Pako Biscuits, Coasters, etc. But on a scale of 1-10, how do these biscuits rank?

Because those biscuits are your favourite, you might be biased in your ranking. That’s why we took it upon ourselves to do the ranking for you.

Enjoy!

9. Pako biscuit

I still don’t get the point of this biscuit, tbh. Who on earth decided that as children, the next snack to munch on is one that tastes like wood. If you were one of those who enjoyed this biscuit as a child, you’re probably a cultist now. Confess before we fish you out.

8. Fishly

This is mid, if we are being honest. It didn’t have anything ‘fishly’ in it. To me, it is a softer, tastier version of Pako biscuits. It’s a wonder how people loved it. The Spicy Fish Cake beats this hands-down, but I couldn’t find a photo online, so…

7. Digestive

The Digestive before Digestives LMAO. This is the biscuit to eat if you’re broke and hungry or you’re trying to save lunch money. Just buy two and drink a whole cup of water and your stomach will be as tight as a drum.

6. Coconut

The selling point of this biscuit was the coconut flavour. It was so markedly different from the others with that taste. But then, it’s an afterthought for most kids. A lot of us didn’t go out with the intention of getting it. We only bought it if the others were not available.

5. Biscao

I LOVE THIS BISCUIT A LOT! I often think I’m the only one who does, because I don’t usually see people as hyped about it as I am. But in terms of taste, Biscao wins. Flavour and size, Biscao wins. OK Foods was in their bag when they made this biscuit. It’s a solid 5 for me.

4. Speedy

Speedy would have been below, but this biscuit fought the good fight and satisfied a LOT of Nigerian children, even adults. In terms of look, it’s not 100%, but one taste and you’ll be willing to overlook every other thing.

PS: As an adult, it bangs with garri. Just empty it into your bowl of garri, add the remaining accessories, and enjoy a delightful taste.

3. Pepper Snack

I am sure a Yoruba man was the one who pitched the idea of this pepper-flavoured biscuit. If we calculate it, the higher percentage of people who love this biscuit will be Yoruba.

I’m not even joking. I mean, it’s number 3 on this list. That’s to show you how Yoruba I am.

2. Okin

This was the OG, the original of all originals. They dominated the market in a way that surprised everyone, but then they had a unique taste to match it. It deserves no other spot than this.

Also, can they pleaseeee bring it back?

1. Coaster

Coaster is really deserving of the number 1 spot. Yes, the biscuit has undergone severe changes in taste and quantity: First, it was 6 in the pack, and then it became 5, and then 4. I think it’s now 3, or maybe they’re getting there. Even then, we cannot deny that Coaster still reigns supreme. We stan.


Kunle Ologunro

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

July 19, 2021

We wrote this for non-muslims who want to enjoy their Sallah holidays by eating meat till their teeth begin to ache. Enjoy. 1. Make a list of all your muslim friends Just make a list first. The more, the merrier. 2. Wish them Happy Sallah and remind them you love them Telling them you love […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

More from Chopist

August 27, 2021

Pepper Soup is a watery dish made in different parts of the world with different techniques and ingredients. Countries and cultures around the world have their different version of it. Peppersoup has a lot of nutritional and health benefits. Nigerian pepper soup comes in different forms. There is the goat meat pepper soup, fish pepper […]

August 27, 2021

It’s safe to say that the one thing all Africans can agree on is that Jollof rice reigns supreme over all foods. This is not to say that other foods are terrible. They’re great. But you see Jollof ehn, it does things to the body. Jollof is the food of the gods. It’s almost perfect. […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X