With the increase of Coronavirus cases in Nigeria last week, so came an increase in the number of articles with Coronavirus headlines churned out by many publications. Because I like worrying, I went through all of them and a thing I noticed was how batshit a lot of them are.
Here are 5 of the funniest ones I saw.
1) This one about the Nigerian police.
In an unintentionally hilarious statement, the Inspector General of Police, Mohammed Adamu, told Nigerians to stay the fuck away from police stations everywhere because of Miss Rona’s wrath, saying to only come when it’s absolutely necessary. This makes no sense because, given the way Nigerian police treats civilians, NO ONE goes to their stations except it’s absolutely necessary. And even then, they hardly ever do anything helpful.
2) This one about the governor of Abia State.
In a video that will forever exist on the internet as proof of Nigeria having idiots as leaders, the governor of Abia State, Okezie Victor Ikpeazu, proclaimed that the one reason his state won’t feel Miss Rona’s wrath is that Abia State is the only state mentioned in the bible.
3) This one about the governor of Ekiti State and the civil servants.
This headline garnered a collective “LOL” from Nigerians everywhere because everyone knows civil servants don’t do shit on a normal day, talk less of these uncertain times we’re in.
4) This one about confessions in the Catholic church.
Do you mean to tell me that I’ve been giving random priests premium gist about my life when I could’ve been doing this?! WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME?!
5) This one about the NIMC.
After seeing this, all of Nigerian Twitter came together to ask the important question: “HAVE THEY EVER BEEN OPEN??”. If you’re a Nigerian who has ever tried getting their National Identity Card, you’ll understand why that question was asked.
6) This one about the Nigerian Railway Service.
Did we miss any other funny Coronavirus headlines? Let us know in the comments.
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