Here’s How The Nigerian Government Thought Up The Lockdown Ease

April 28, 2020

There are a few things I’ve never understood – how low-rise jeans ever became fashion statements, how Jim Iyke always wound up with an American accent regardless of what country he visited, how Elisha Abbo remains a senator, you get the picture.

Recently, a brand new entry has been scattering all of my brain – how the Nigerian government thinks easing a lockdown and imposing an 8PM – 6AM curfew will help in containing virus that isn’t even moderately close to being managed in Nigeria.

nigeria lockdown ease

I mean sure, the economy can’t survive a prolonged lockdown. And many Nigerians rely on daily jobs to survive, but in the grander scheme of things, Nigeria does not have the capacity to care for the cases that are sure to multiply with an eased lockdown. It just didn’t make sense.

Unless…

nigeria lockdown ease

It suddenly hit me, contrary to what you think, the Nigerian governemnt and regular Nigerians do not live within the same realities. In fact, after much thought, it occurred to me that while we’re thinking about multiplied numbers and the end of rocks as we know it, the Nigerian government is probably thinking about things in the following ways:

You might dispute this, but the Nigerian government is pretty sure the Coronavirus is nocturnal

lockdown ease Nigeria

That’s why the curfew is for 8PM – 6AM. After you’ll say your government doesn’t care about you.

You didn’t know this, but like our president, the coronavirus is notoriously shy

Those people that said the coronavirus doesn’t like heat, only got it a little wrong. According to the Nigerian government’s reasoning, light is it’s real nemesis

The virus is also very scared of packed bridges

nigeria ease lockdown

Or that’s what the government probably thinks. Although, whether 3rd mainland bridge and all the other bridges will be free by 8PM is anybody’s guess.

Who wants to bet? The special sub-committee appointed to handle covid-19 affairs probably made the virus pinky promise (wearing gloves of course) that Nigerians would be safe between 6 AM and 8 PM when they’re out.

nigeria lockdown ease

It would explain things if you think about it.

This lockdown ease is part of a grander government plan to get Nigerian families to spend more time together in the evenings.

nigeria lockdown ease

This government, always planning ahead.

How do you think the government came about this plan to ease the lockdown?

Boyin Plumptre

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

July 20, 2020

Let’s start from here: Nigerian politicians have a history of fainting at court hearings and getting away with their bad behavior. So, we the good people of Zikoko came up with scenarios where you can also get away with this tactic in your daily life. Here are a few: 1) When your girlfriend catches you […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

February 24, 2021

Omo the country is hard and things are expensive. How cann a poor person like me and you survive like this with a salary that vanishes the moment you buy one thing? My salary after I buy one plate of food. How best can we make our salary last longer? We might have some ideas […]

February 24, 2021

Marriage is a big deal, no doubt. A few months ago, we spoke to a few Nigerian women who regret making the decision to commit their lives to one partner. We spoke with a few Nigerian men about the same issue. Here’s what they had to say. 1. Zayn I didn’t envisage that getting married […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

More from Citizen

February 19, 2021

This Abroad Life will leave you speechless. Today’s subject woke up one day and had to suddenly move to the USA. She talks about surviving on almost nothing, avoiding an arranged marriage, becoming a citizen and family drama. Let’s start from the beginning. When did you move to the USA? I moved here in 2009 […]

February 13, 2021

What is happening in Oyo state? There have been reports about a clash said to be happening in Oyo state. The clash is said to be between Yorubas and Hausas, and the affected areas include Akinyele local government, Ojoo, Sasa, and the Moniya axis. What caused it? According to news reports by Tribune Online, The […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X