10 Of The FUNNIEST Pregnancy Myths Ever

March 11, 2021

So, if you thought pregnancy cravings were the funniest things about being pregnant, then you definitely have not heard of the pregnancy myths. With the help of Zikoko WhatsApp groups 2 and 3, I compiled a list of some of the funniest pregnancy myths ever.

1) If you dip your hand into your husband’s pocket to take money, your child will become a thief.

This is one of those pregnancy myths you know was made by a man who was tired of his wife taking money from his pocket, because WHAT IS THIS????? How?

2) If you walk over a pregnant woman, the child will look like you

Genetics in the MUD. DNA? Who is she??? Tunde, the child does not look like you because the gardener crossed your wife while she was pregnant. Simple. Cheating? No dear.

3) If you eat snails while pregnant, your child will be an olodo

You know snails are slow, right? And you know we are what we eat? The math is mathing shey? Think about it!

4) If you walk in the sun while pregnant, your child will be replaced by an evil spirit

With how hot this country is, this explains a lot. If you have had the pleasure of living in Nigeria, you will know that a lot of Nigerians are just evil spirits in human bodies. Also, this will be a great car ad. “Buy an air conditioned car today, prevent the rise of evil spirits.” Innosson Motors, CALL ME!

5) If a pregnant woman walks in the afternoon without a safety pin on her dress, the baby will be possessed

Have you heard of Ghostbusters? Well I give to you, GHOST BLOCKERS.

A modern day ghost repellent

Another explanation for all the people we have in this country. To think a safety pin would have prevented it all. It also makes you think, how weak are demons that ordinary safety pin is enough to chase them away? Nigerian demons better step up their game.

Hi there! While you are here do you want to take a minute to sign up for HER’S weekly newsletter? There’ll be inside gist from this series and other fun stuff. It’ll only take 15 seconds. Yes I timed it.

6) If you eat plantain or banana without removing the middle part, the baby’s head will be split in the middle.

Where do I even start from? From where do I begin? I need a scientific explanation. In fact, I would not mind a non-scientific one. I just need someone to explain this to me like I am five.

7) If you are having heartburn, it means your child will be hairy

Scenes where your child comes out as smooth as an egg. What will you now say?

8) If you visit someone that just gave birth, your labour will be induced

You have heard of period sync? Well, prepare for *drumroll please* Labour SYNC!!!!!

Of course this makes perfect sense. The child that was just born will use its amazing baby communication skills to inform the one in the womb that the coast is clear. Baby communication technology should really be a course in Universities.

9) If a pregnant woman sits in the middle of twins, she too will have twins

So what if the ultrasound showed only one baby before? Have you never heard of divine multiplication before?

10) If a pregnant woman scratches her itchy stomach instead of rubbing it, she will have stretch marks.

Fuck scientific research that proves stretch marks can be as a result of the tearing of the dermis during periods of rapid growth, simply do not scratch your stomach while pregnant.

For more stories of all things women, please click here. Also, if you haven’t subscribed to the HER newsletter yet, you can by clicking this button


Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

Itohan Esekheigbe

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

June 3, 2021

A lot of people want big breasts until they realize it comes with its own set of challenges. Here’s eight things women with big breasts hate hearing:  1. Slut shaming.  Whenever women with big breasts wear clothes that show cleavage, everybody becomes a morality police. It’s tiring.   2. “Your husband will enjoy o” Women’s bodies […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

September 25, 2021

oraimo FreePods 3 Feature LeakFor a while now, oraimo has been cooking something awesome for her consumers, and it’s finally here. I guess it’s safe to say oraimo is like a fine wine that keeps getting better with time. When it comes to delivering a product that is not only affordable but also comes with […]

September 25, 2021

The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 29-year-old bisexual woman who talks about deciding to have sex after a car accident, getting over sex guilt and how she started grading her male sexual partners.

Recommended Quizzes

December 3, 2019

Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

February 26, 2020

Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”. Go ahead:

More from Her

black girl leaning on the wall with curly hair
September 21, 2021

“Everyone from his fraternity ran away except him, and that was how he went down. He died on school grounds. Omo, I wasn’t myself for days. That was when I realized everything everyone said was true.”

8 Nigerian Women Talk About Their Experience With Cultists

Read here:

black woman with afro smiling
September 20, 2021

Hair lice are tiny, wingless insects that live in the hair of humans. They feed on tiny amounts of blood they get from the scalp. They spread easily from comb to comb. It is especially rampant among kids.  It’s not easy to get rid of hair lice but here are a few tips that have […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X