4 Nigerian Women Share Different Reasons Why Their Parents Are Not Proud Of Them

September 7, 2021

Most young people want their parents to be proud of them, a lot of us appreciate validation when it comes from the people we love the most and look up to. For this piece, we asked a few young people to share different reasons why their parents are not proud of them.

Toun, 20

Image used for descriptive purpose.

I am the only child of a first son and I always feel like I am not doing enough. My parents don’t voice that they aren’t proud of me, but I know. My parents don’t know me and it feels like I am constantly hiding around them. They think I’m a straight Christian and that’s the part of me they like. It’s obvious that my parents are proud of the side of me that gets promoted at work and gets good grades, but they disregard the side of me that’s living with depression, anxiety and is gay. 

I live in fear because I am always hiding even when I want them to see every side of me and be proud of me regardless  I don’t know how long I am going to hide the side they are not happy with. It’s worse that I can’t talk to them about what I am going through because they’ll make it about themselves and not me. 

Habibah, 25

I’ll share 2 instances. 

I don’t have a 9-5 yet, so I run a business. My Mum doesn’t like that I run a business instead of working a 9-5, but I do it because I don’t want to be idle. She has also mentioned learning a skill, but I’m not interested in any of those things. She doesn’t hesitate to shade me with this from time to time about my unemployment.  I’m trying to learn some non-coding ways of getting into tech.

One time, we were on our way to see my other Grandpa and she asked “What will I say you are doing if he asks what you’ve been up to since you graduated?”. I was shocked by her question because I don’t know if my business is a joke to her.

Another one, she went with her friend to her daughter’s convocation. She got back and didn’t stop talking about how the girl made her Mum proud and how their whole family attended. She said she was so impressed. Then she concluded it by saying I probably didn’t go for mine because I graduated with very bad grades.

PS:  I didn’t attend my convocation because I was in Lagos then. I thought that it was unnecessary to travel to my school which was outside Lagos. 

Jumoke, 25

 My dad was very abusive to all of us and I got the brunt of the abuse. I was a very curious child and my dad hated it. I am plus size and it was obvious my dad hated that too. He’d go out with my brothers and show them off, but I didn’t let that get to me.

My parents split up when I got into university and my father immediately disowned me. I studied law in university, hoping that it would help me get his attention he didn’t reach out all through my time in university and had finished law school by the time he reached out trying to mend our relationship. 

I haven’t gotten the great job he hoped I’ll get right out of law school and it’s quite obvious he isn’t proud of who I am right now. My dad is a boastful person and I have not yet given him a reason to fully boast yet.

Sade

I have a strong personality and a pretty face so although I have A sized boobs with a small bum(flat chest and flat ass), I still get a ton of attention from guys. My mum has a problem with my body though, one would think it should be the opposite, but I get a lot of demeaning looks from her. She hates that I’m flat-chested and not tall. 

She always points it out when we are visiting people or when she sees other girls my age with big or medium breasts and she has gone as far as suggesting I buy breast enlargement products. We ended up buying it for 50k and it didn’t work at all. I told her before that those things don’t work but she didn’t listen but I’m happy she did it and would finally let the breast enlargement products rest.

I’m still not insecure about my body because I get attention from both guys and girls.  In fact, I tend to shy away from attention.

I’m my own source of strength and so it drains me when people try to project. 

Ibukun

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

diagram of the female reproductive system
July 25, 2021

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is still largely unspoken about across Nigeria. Many people may have heard about it but a lot of them don’t know what’s true or false about the condition. Here are five myths and facts about Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. Every woman with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome grows hair in unlikely places.  Though a […]

Mum and daughter
November 11, 2020

The subject of this week’s What She Said is a 26-year-old Nigerian woman. She talks about the trauma she faced growing up with her mum, her dad leaving and how therapy improved her relationship with her mum. Tell me about your earliest memory. Growing up, I was very stubborn. I used to get into a […]

April 29, 2020

We are living in insane times. When I’m not thinking about the fact that coronavirus might just wipe out half the world’s population, my mind drifts to more mundane things. Like when next will I be able to get a pedicure or get my hair done? Turns out I’m not the only one. Amidst all […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

April 3, 2020

While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

More from Her

October 13, 2021

The subject of today’s What She Said is an 18-year-old firstborn who has already raised three children. She talks about spending her childhood raising her siblings, her dad’s obvious favouritism towards her brothers, and how she wishes her parents were more involved in raising their children.   Can you tell me the earliest memory of […]

What she said: Biwom
September 29, 2021

The subject of this week’s What She Said is Marytonette ‘Biwom’ Okudare, a 26-year-old singer & songwriter. She talks about growing up as a tomboy, failing at convincing her parents to support her music career & struggling with being taken seriously because of her style.

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X