5 Nigerian Women Talk About The Time They Settled In A Relationship

May 27, 2021

There are a lot of reasons someone might feel they settled for less than you deserved in a relationship. So, these five Nigerian women talk about the times they settled in their relationship.

Joy, 21

In the first two months of the relationship, I was smitten! We shared similar interests in things, and he used to shower me with attention and gifts. Sadly, the reason I was even in a relationship with him was that I was dealing with a lot of things, and he was the only person that could understand me.

I’m very big on physical fitness because I’m a big enthusiast, but he on the other hand was very lazy and rarely ever worked out. We’re also from two different socioeconomic worlds. I’m very used to classy people and things due to the people I grew up with. He on the other hand was judgemental towards my friends.

Most times I wish I didn’t even allow it to get that far, I should have just friendzoned him, but I was emotionally dependent on him.

Cynthia, 20

There was this guy I had a thing with and the first red flag should have been the fact that he was friends with my exes. At first, we liked each other as friends but, when he broke up with his ex, we became closer.

When our thing started, uncle was doing rotation with me and the ex, but I was trying to be the good and understanding babe. He said he was comforting his ex. Whenever I’m unavailable, he was with her. He’ll now come and say she was the one that called him and he didn’t know how to say no. He came up with excuse that she was always crying and his mum said he should check on her.Whenever i talk to him about it, he always said ‘put yourself in her shoes. Everyone warned me, but I was forming let love lead.

He never smelled nice, and was just plain with no swag. Well, the scale fell off my eyes and when I saw that I had settled, I ran!

Aminat, 25

I started working in like 200 level because my dad was not having sense, my mum’s finances weren’t really good anymore, and I needed to keep up with my baby girl lifestyle. I got a well-paying job, it was remote and I was able to live up to my standard.

I’ve always dated very rich, wealthy, and generous men. Due to that reason, I always got really expensive gifts and lots of money unwarranted. I even got about $25k on my birthday from my ex-husband, but before my ex-husband, there was this man I dated briefly.

This man didn’t have a good-paying job but didn’t want to do better. I even tried to use my network for him, but he just didn’t want to make an effort. He lived in a 1 bedroom apartment with just a mattress on the floor and he turned down so many opportunities that could make him have more money. I think he felt comfortable because he was getting money from me. I wasn’t used to that kind of life.

Atinuke, 27

My friends always tell me I am not the most reasonable person when I am in love, but I can’t help it. He told me he loved me and I fell for his silly words. He and I were in a “special relationship” which was code for him to fuck around and see other people, but I did not mind. I loved him. It was just that he never treated me like any of the other girls he was with. I was very insecure about how I looked, so I latched on to him for any form of validation. He would not reply to any of my texts for days, weeks even.

He saved all of his fancy gifts for his other women, and only messaged me when he needed someone to give him money or find solutions to his problems, and I would go out of my way to borrow money for him. Freelancing was what he did, so he never had a stable source of income. However, when they paid him, they paid him big. Did he ever get me anything though? No. Not even a hundred naira recharge card.

One day, I saw him falling over his feet for another girl on an outing we were on together. He paid for her meal and everything, while I paid for ours. That was when my brain reset and I left him. Did not even explain anything to him. Then when he comes into my dms to ask for help, I just reply him with “eyah”.

Bola, 21

We’ve been together for four years, and he has hurt me so much in that time. He’s manipulative and never likes to address issues. He just likes to sweep everything under the rug. I love him, but at this point, I think I am looking for someone else. He would lie about unnecessary things like where he is. He is also a serial flirt, and he forces me to accept it. Once, he asked a girl he cheated on me with to block me because I brought up the comments he leaves on her Instagram account. I felt so stupid. He has told me a lot of times that he would do whatever he wants, and I would just have to deal with it. I currently live with him, but I am saving up to get my own place. I’ve taken so much, and I can’t wait to disappear.

Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

For more stories of women and the things they do, please click here

Itohan Esekheigbe

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

June 15, 2020

As misogynistic, incoherent, and unrealistic as the Nigerian version of wife material is, it has got nothing on the Zeeworld’s version. The storylines are not the only annoying thing about Zeeworld, the standards women have to keep up with in their relationships with men are too. Here’s a Zeeworld Women’s Guide to landing a husband. […]

May 13, 2020

When conversation starts to wane, one of the questions that often comes up with my group of all single friends ironically is ‘what would you do if you found out your partner was cheating’. Over the years the reply to that question has evolved for most of them from ‘dump his ass and burn his […]


Now on Zikoko

September 25, 2021

oraimo FreePods 3 Feature LeakFor a while now, oraimo has been cooking something awesome for her consumers, and it’s finally here. I guess it’s safe to say oraimo is like a fine wine that keeps getting better with time. When it comes to delivering a product that is not only affordable but also comes with […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

More from Her

black girl leaning on the wall with curly hair
September 21, 2021

“Everyone from his fraternity ran away except him, and that was how he went down. He died on school grounds. Omo, I wasn’t myself for days. That was when I realized everything everyone said was true.”

8 Nigerian Women Talk About Their Experience With Cultists

Read here:

black woman with afro smiling
September 20, 2021

Hair lice are tiny, wingless insects that live in the hair of humans. They feed on tiny amounts of blood they get from the scalp. They spread easily from comb to comb. It is especially rampant among kids.  It’s not easy to get rid of hair lice but here are a few tips that have […]


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.