In response to a previous post where men talked about things they are scared of telling their partners, we spoke to Nigerian women to tell us the hardest things about dating Nigerian men
They never know what you should buy them. You ask him if he prefers brown or black leather, he asks if you want him to use it on you. No Kunle, it is because your office bag is old and I want to buy you another one. They now have the audacity to complain when you gift them sex. Sir, that is all you talk about, I am not a mind reader.
For no reason, they just lie. Why are they always lying? They will use their mouth to promise you something, and then they will lie. From promising to call you and not calling, to lying about their whereabouts, to lying about their relationship status. I once dated a married man for 7 months and the first time I went to visit him, there were pictures of this woman and two kids in his house. He said that was his cousin and her kids, that after her husband died, he had been taking care of them. Ladies and gentlemen, that was his wife and those were his kids.
Their misogyny is a different breed because after insulting you, they will try to play it off as a joke. I remember one guy I was just talking to and I told him about how one of my dreams is to be an accountant for a major oil company, and he told me I must have meant his father’s groundnut oil farm. I got angry and he told me I was overreacting, but that was the end.
Honestly, when it comes to Nigerian men, their relationship with their mothers can be so off-putting. I am not saying that these women are to blame because honestly internalised misogyny is killing my people, but they and their sons sometimes have a collabo that results in a series of unfortunate events. One day, I went to visit this guy I was having casual sex with (casual ni o), and I saw his mother cooking for him in the kitchen (see, I do not even know). After greeting her, I went to attend to the business I came there for. Halfway through, this man left for a bit and when he came back, he told me his mother was upset I did not come to the kitchen to help her cook. I ignored it and finished up. On my way home, he was still complaining that I did not even offer to help. Me? Offer? Help? When I got home, I deleted his number and blocked him everywhere. I cannot date idiots.
A lot of them do not like to share. When Nigerian men usually hear that I am polyamorous AND bisexual, they are ecstatic. Then they realise it goes both ways, then it is problem after problem. I have men and women sending gifts to my apartment and office, and these boyfriends are usually very unhappy about it. When they now fully figure out that it means I will also be sleeping with multiple partners, they start slut shaming me and calling me a whore etc. Nigerian men are very insecure. Dating them is 4/10, highly do not recommend.
Older Nigerian men are too stiff. Sometimes I slip and call my boyfriend sir, because of how old he acts. Yes, I understand that we are both old, but relax a little. He is not on Twitter, so I constantly keep having to explain what words mean to him. Yesterday, I sent him selfies and tagged it “it is the smile for me”. He kept asking me to complete my sentence, that what did the smile do. Honestly, I am tired.