Since the dawn of time, women have worn makeup to accent their features. What nobody tells you is how hard making up is. One wrong move and you’ve ruined everything. That said, here are 5 things novice struggle with when wearing makeup.
Drawing your freaking eyebrows
Women understand that a face without eyebrows is basically a jog into the medieval ages (it was cool to be brow-less back then. Yikes).
You know drawing eyebrows is hard when you start asking yourself questions like why have my brows vowed to never be symmetrical? Why is the left brow thicker than a South African woman and the right brow looking disable? Why is my concealer not concealing? Sis, the eyebrow struggle is real.
Winging your eyeliner
Do you want to recreate a cat-eye look or give your face a badass-boss-bitch look? Well, too bad cause your eyeliner’s fucked up. How come every time we are required to draw our eyeliner, it seems we have Parkinson? That’s when your hands will shake or someone will push you off a cliff and now your eyeliner looks all weird. The worst part is when you try to do damage control, you end up adding to the eyeliner until you look like a panda.
Contouring our face
Most women have given up on contouring because of the evil it has done to them. You’ll have a contour set but every time you attempt to contour your face, you end up looking like an artist’s palette for earth-toned colours. The entire thing just refuses to blend and even when it does, your face looks like you’re a contestant for RuPaul’s Drag Race. Lord, please take the brush.
Highlighting your cheekbones and nose:
Sis, I know you didn’t start out wanting to look like Rudolph the red-nose reindeer but in a bit to highlight your “contoured” face, you’re now out here looking like Rihanna sang “Shine bright like a diamond” for you. The worst part is, you probably know the secret to good highlighting is portion control but no matter how hard you try, your face ends up looking like the sun can reflect off it if it tries hard enough.
GIRRLLLL. I know you’re tired. After watching a myriad of youtube videos on how to apply eyeshadow, it sucks that we still can’t get it right. We see how the YouTubers apply layers and layers of colours in such fluid motion only for us to try it and now we literally look like the LGBT+ flag during a pride march. When does it end?
Bonus: Fixing eyelashes
A lot of people don’t even attempt this so they don’t end up blind. I genuinely pity my sisters out there who try to make it work but end up glueing their eyes shut. The struggle to remove dried gum from their eyes is real. It’s worse if you have a sight defect. We can only do our best and insha’Allah our way into a good turnout.
If you can’t relate to anything in this listicle, from the bottom of my heart, screw you and your immaculate makeup skills.