8 Nigerian Women Share Their Childbirth Stories

| Her
September 22, 2020

Having a child anywhere in the world is by no means easy. From the stress of carrying a baby for nine months to the stress of actually giving birth, it’s a lot for one person to handle. That’s why when the conversation around childbirth and spouse support for women (aka being there and actively helping) during pregnancy and childbirth came up on Twitter today, we decided to ask a few women about their own personal experiences. Here’s what they said:

Aisha, 37

This is not exactly a childbirth story, but we lost our baby at seven months. My husband was by my side all through. We were planning a move to a new state on account of his new job just about the time this happened. He abandoned the opportunity to stay with me. It was an excruciating thing to be in and even with him being there, I felt alone, but he was there for me.

Tinu, 32

My husband and I were separated just before I was due. I’d found out he was cheating (again). So I told myself I had to leave — can’t bring up my child in that environment. Childbirth itself wasn’t hard, I guess. I’m lucky because the stories I heard prepared me for the worst. Interesting enough, the moment he heard I had gone into labour, he showed up, although I didn’t actually see him till after.

Mariam, 27

The experience was bittersweet. Bitter because the pain was excruciating, if that’s putting it mildly. Sweet because the moment my baby’s head was out, it felt like I was on top of the moon. It was so surreal… I literally forgot all the pain. My husband was with me all through.

Mekwe that you mekwe and enjoyed together. Now time to born you’ll now leave her alone? Ah.

My husband didn’t eat throughout that day. First it was from seeing me in so much pain, food was the last thing on his mind, then over excitement after the baby came. It was the following morning I was asking him if he had eaten. I told him to leave the ward and not come back till he ate something bcos me wey born sef don dey chop already.

My mother came to stay with me after we were discharged.All I had to do was just eat, sleep and feed my baby. My mum didn’t let me lift a finger. And my husband was so obsessed. If I wasn’t feeding her (my baby) and she wasn’t sleeping, he was with her.

Nneka, 38

I’m a single mother, not exactly by choice. I told my ex that I was pregnant and he ghosted. When it was this close to my labour date, my mum and sister moved in with me. I had been scared that I would be alone during the entire thing. I was a little proud and didn’t want to ask them to come, but when they showed up, I didn’t even argue. Which is lucky for me because I passed out just a few days before I was due and needed help getting to the hospital. They were with me all through. I don’t think I was ever alone in those first few days. I’m not sure if my ex knows or cares that I have his child. I tried to reach out a few years ago because my child was asking questions. He’s active on Twitter, and I assumed this was the best platform. I was ignored.

Sope, 26

I gave birth during the heat of Covid. I was in labour for hours. They told my husband to go back home because he couldn’t be in the ward with me and neither could he be in the hospital because of the Covid rules. He didn’t go home. He stayed in the car and kept parading the building, asking about me. Even after I gave birth and they said he should go home, the same thing.

Akpevwe

My own childbirth story is that I was dragging this man’s cloth from home asking him why he impregnated me. I can laugh about it now, but I was dead serious. My grouse with my husband wasn’t that he wasn’t there. It was that after giving birth, he expected everything to go back to normal. We didn’t have any help. It was just both of us. He expected that I would start cooking again, that my body would fall back in shape in no time and sex would commence very soon. He didn’t say this out loud, but I felt the resentment. Na so we resented each other because I didn’t do shit if it wasn’t for my baby or myself. The good thing is we eventually recognised our problems and talked about it. We couldn’t afford help, as that would have been the next best thing. We learnt to communicate and all.

Ngozi, 22

When my mum was having her last child, we didn’t know where our dad was. He came back after a few months and said to the new child, “Ahan, did you grow smaller?” He thought that was our younger sister.

Titi

After a very stressful, 38 weeks pregnancy, I opted for a CS delivery. Stressful because the first four months were hell. I lost weight, couldn’t hold down food or water and vomited till my stomach acid eroded my esophageal lining and blood followed. I was just one symptom away from hyperemesis gravidarum (a pregnancy complication that is characterized by severe nausea, vomiting, weight loss, and possibly dehydration).

I spat whatever little water stayed down and carried a spittle cup around. I couldn’t go to work and had to resign. Then Covid came. The last five months were better, though I still vomited and spat every other day. I was admitted a day before the procedure. Last minute checks were done and everything we needed was bought. Surgery went great. My husband and my mum ran all the errands. My mum stayed with me for the 4 days I was there while my husband and his parents came every morning with food and other things, watched me sleep, then left in the evening. Doctors didn’t want more than 1 person staying over because of Covid.

Let nobody say CS is easier than vaginal birth. They are identical twins of the same mother. I was in pain. Couldn’t bend, sit, laugh, cry. Stitches will just be pulling. I dreaded having to pee because it meant I had to walk 5 steps to the toilet. I was bent over and anytime I tried to straighten up, I cried. I couldn’t sleep either. Just tossed and turned every night. The last night before I was discharged, my pentazocine finished. The nurse said it was time to switch to oral painkillers. I cried and begged her till she went looking for pentazocine for me around 11pm. Breast milk didn’t come immediately. We had to wait for that one too for about 2 days. My mum followed us home after I was discharged and stayed for 41 days. My mother in law came every single morning and left in the evening. While I stayed in bed, they took care of baby and I only carried him when he needed to eat. I felt relieved after childbirth, considering the things I went through. My body and appetite came back (I cried so much in pregnancy because I thought I lost them forever). I’m thankful for my child because he is an answer to prayers. I’m still getting help by the way. After my mum left, my mother in law has fully taken over and if I sit down and actually think about it, I don’t think I’ve bathed my child myself up to 10 times. I can do it. I just don’t have to. For context, he is 4 months plus.


Names have been changed to protect the identity of the women.

Ope

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

April 19, 2021

Bras are one of the most unnecessary things on earth. They dig into your skin, leave marks on your shoulder, and are just downright uncomfortable especially if you have bigger breasts. Now, because we all hate bras, here are some alternatives. 1) Nylon We are all about recycling and taking better care of the environment, […]

November 9, 2020

Threesomes: for when sex between two people is never enough. Because they can be had by any gender, and people hardly ever center women when it comes to sex, we spoke to 7 Nigerian women about their threesome experience. Ajike, 23 So, it was with this guy that has been toasting me, and his girlfriend. […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

December 3, 2019

Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

More from Her

black girl leaning on the wall with curly hair
September 21, 2021

“Everyone from his fraternity ran away except him, and that was how he went down. He died on school grounds. Omo, I wasn’t myself for days. That was when I realized everything everyone said was true.”

8 Nigerian Women Talk About Their Experience With Cultists

Read here:

black woman with afro smiling
September 20, 2021

Hair lice are tiny, wingless insects that live in the hair of humans. They feed on tiny amounts of blood they get from the scalp. They spread easily from comb to comb. It is especially rampant among kids.  It’s not easy to get rid of hair lice but here are a few tips that have […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X