If you’ve been active on social media then the term “toxic masculinity” is something you’ve seen being thrown around quite often. Here’s a proper definition in case you’re wondering; Toxic masculinity is the normalized culture that expects men to not express emotion openly, be tough all the time, and disapproves of anything that makes them seem feminine or weak.
Here’s a list of some of the things Nigerians have normalized that actually qualify as toxic masculinity.
1. The saying – “Be a man“.
If toxic masculinity had a motto, this would be it. This 3 worded sentence puts masculinity on a pedestal that can only be accessed through suppressing emotions and being unnecessarily aggressive.
2. Don’t you know you are a man?
Just in case you forgot you were supposed to be stone cold, unnecessarily aggressive, and disrespectful while demanding round the clock respect.
3. Why are you acting like a woman?
Usually thrown at a man when he is expressing emotions, or withholding throwing physical strength at a problem.
4. Men are not supposed to cry.
If toxic masculinity had a tag line, this would definitely be it. Expecting men to not express pain through crying will only make them bottle up whatever hurt or frustrations they may be experiencing and that is not healthy.
5. Boys will always be boys.
Meaning boys should be allowed to act in whatever way they want to and be allowed to get away with it because why? Because they are boys.
6. Men are polygamous in nature.
Which is a euphemism for “allow men cheat”. But we already know that philandering is not a function of gender so kolewerk.
7. Blaming domestic violence victims for provoking the abuse.
Because apparently the only time when a man can not help bringing his fists into a conversation is when it involves a woman. Not at the embassy when staff is being rude, not at an annoying colleague, not at a rude Lagos conductor, just when there’s a vulnerable woman in the picture.
8. Putting the entire onus of rape prevention on women.
Talmabout, women shouldn’t wear short skirts, or go to visit men or stay out late. How about telling men to just not rape women?