11 Places To Find Tech Bae In Lagos

December 2, 2020

If like me you’ve been thinking of a way out of penury, I welcome you. Here’s a list of places to find our helpers (tech baes) so that we can flourish and finally chop life.

1) Any coffee shop

Your nearest coffee shop is filled with so many lowkey rich tech people looking for wonderful ambience and uninterrupted power supply. Use this information wisely.

2) Shops where they sell turtle necks

You know the vibes for this one.

3) Lexus car dealerships

The official car of made people in tech. If they drive Lexus ES 350 or IS 350, hold on to them for dear life.

4) Any shop that sells Apple devices

Pro-tip: The richer they are, the more Apple devices they own.

5) Or plant shop

Plant that’s not for cooking is a sign of wealth in Nigeria, and these people are stupidly rich.

6) Any event that has the keyword “disruption” in it

Don’t dull.

7) Or “Fintech” as the theme

The next best thing since sliced bread.

8) Or Crypto and Bitcoin as subthemes

The last line of defense against Emefiele et al. After Bezos, tech people swear by these terms.

9) Any Paystack or Flutterwave event

Because anyone can be a golden boy.

10) Twitter

Open your Twitter and tweet “Tech bros don’t have their baths.” If your mentions aren’t swarming with them, come and fight us in our office.

11) Your nearest “coke” dealer

I’m not there oh.

Subscribe to the TechCabal daily so you know the most happening Tech bae in town.

Here you go: http://bit.ly/TechCabalEmail

Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

Hassan Yahaya

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

July 19, 2019

Women always help women. Perhaps it was contained in the small print of the ten commandments, or as part of some sacred hadith, but it is essentially law at this point. From seemingly mundane situations like strangers helping to check if a sister is stained, or randomly hyping strangers in the girl’s bathroom to more […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

June 12, 2021

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians. The subject of today’s Sex Life is a heterosexual 25-year-old man who became obsessed with penises when he realised his penis was small. He talks about how having a small penis affects his […]

June 12, 2021

By Doyin Olagunju If you were on social media on 27th May 2021, you must have seen a viral video involving Remi Tinubu, a former first lady of Lagos State and a current senator representing Lagos Central senatorial district, in a heated argument with another woman over the fact that Ms Tinubu called the woman […]

June 11, 2021

In life, there are many things you can be. One of them is a country, and that’s on period. We’ve already told you which country you were meant to be born in. Take this quiz to find out which European country you have hidden in you. Gather your fave sport buddies and watch all the […]

Recommended Quizzes

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

More from Inside Life

June 12, 2021

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians. The subject of today’s Sex Life is a heterosexual 25-year-old man who became obsessed with penises when he realised his penis was small. He talks about how having a small penis affects his […]

June 11, 2021

Whether you’re new to the ZiGeng, or you’ve been rocking with Zikoko since forever, there are some pretty valid reasons why giving us all your money (it’s not as if we like money oh, but who are we to say no if you actually decide to go all in?) is worth considering. 1. We make […]

June 11, 2021

After refusing to accept his sexuality in Nigeria, today’s subject on Abroad Life moved to the US in 2015. He talks about how his relationship with God, his parents and church members made him realise that he had to accept his sexuality.  When did you decide that you were going to move to the US? […]

June 9, 2021

Since heaven is the goal, but your body is not firewood, here are some of the best sex positions that won’t ruin your heavenly race. 1) Missionary The people that named this sex position knew what they were doing. It is simple, straight forward and as old as time. People that have sex like this […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X