11 Ways To Punish A Nigerian Man When He Catches You Cheating

March 30, 2021

If your Nigerian boyfriend or, even worse, husband has the audacity to catch you having an affair, it is only right you deal with him for not facing his front.

Here are 11 ways to punish him

1. Ask him to kneel down, raise up his hands and close his eyes.

Since he wants to behave like a child, it’s only right you punish him like one.

2. Make him write “I will learn to mind my business” 1000 times in a notebook.

Since he has time to be catching you cheating, give him work to do.

3. Don’t give him food for one week.

Hunger will force him to change his ways. Advise him to also pray about his inability to mind his business, so it won’t be like he is doing hunger strike.

4. Tell him to write a public apology and print it on the front page of a Nigerian newspaper

This is the barest minimum to be very honest, he needs to let his people know he is an amebo.

5. Tell him to make a video confessing to the world that he, [insert name], doesn’t mind his business.

Derrick Jaxn and im wife

And you better hold his hands while he makes that video, in fact, wear your Sunday best for your appearance in the video.

6. Follow him to his place of work and make him confess his evil act.

They’ll probably say it’s a personal issue, but tell them this: “If a man can snoop in women’s business, what is the assurance that he is dealing with your company in complete honesty?”

7. Follow him to his church, mosque, or shrine, and make him announce what he did.

Shebi he knows how to do amebo? You too you know how to publicize that work.

8. Ask him to tweet every one hour, his evil deed.

Schedule the tweets! “REMINDER: I, [insert name] snooped on my love It was a foolish, careless act, and I want to say I am sorry.”

9. Confiscate his phone for a whole month.

Yup, one month is short sef. He should send pigeons if what he wants to communicate is so important.

10. Ground him.

No going out to see friends, no visitations. Work? Let him do it from home. Next time, he will remember that actions have consequences.

11. And finally, leave him.

He should have worried about losing you before he let his jealousy make decisions for him.

But if you want to pity him and stay, you can stay oh.

Just always hold that his amebo spirit over him. And please, I beg you, do not stop cheating.

Y’all be easy in your relationships.

Subscribe to the Zikoko’s brand new relationship newsletter and your life will never remain the same!

Ibukun

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

August 17, 2021

I don’t know who told men that persistence is key, but someone needs to tell them that it’s just harassment. No one should have to deal with an overly persistent man. But in the event that there’s a man refusing to take no for an answer, here are some extreme measures you can take. 1. […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

September 16, 2021

International advocacy organization, Global Citizen, has revealed the local hosts TV personalities Ebuka Obi-Uchendu and Nancy Isime for the Global Citizen Live event in Lagos, Nigeria. Pan-African broadcast partners are AIM Group, MultiChoice and The SABC. Performances from Lagos will be given by Tiwa Savage, Davido, Femi Kuti and Made Kuti, among others. Burna Boy […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

More from Inside Life

September 13, 2021

Occasionally, a television commercial that resonates with our essence hits the airwaves. In that instant, we almost always see a mirror image of ourselves in a few, well-assembled montages. This is the magic of effective communication. Goldberg’s all-new TVC was launched last weekend to herald the inaugural edition of the Goldberg Omoluabi Day. The word […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X