Co-written by Zikoko Contributor @Adahna
If you’re still getting Nigerian Law School horror flashbacks year later, this post is for you.
1. When you see your name on the list, and you’ve been posted to your choice campus.
2. When you get to class in week 2 and see all the textbooks people already have.
Hian! Didn’t we all just resume?
3. When you wear your favorite white shirt and class gets cancelled.
What a waste.
4. When they send you back home because your shirt is off-white not snow-white.
Can you not?
5. You, whenever you hear “Snap test”:
Who did I offend?
6. Whenever Lagos students heard “Ijesha, pass the mic.”
NLS Horror Story: Microphones.
7. When you get to see all the girls in their natural state for law dinner.
8. When week 13 reaches and you find out half the books you bought were a waste of money.
See money I could have used to eat.
9. Whenever you have to say “as the court pleases” to that demon Judge.
Even if they are insulting you.
10. When the firm you get posted to tells you that you need to do a test before they can accept you.
What is this stress?
11. You, thinking about how you’re going to fill your log book:
God, help me.
12. When portfolio assessment season approaches and you start hearing, “Fail portfolio assessment and you won’t get called to the Bar.”
Let’s hear word.
13. You, calculating Scale of Charges and Accounting and wondering what Further Maths is doing inside Law.
Is this my life?
14. When everyone starts remembering God 3 weeks to Bar finals.
Oh! You can pray now?
15. When finals are close, and you’re still getting confused by ‘in the north vs in the south, in Lagos vs in Abuja, PCL vs CA, CPA vs CPC’
16. When you remember that you are expected to memorise everything and you begin to have a panic attack.
17. When one lawyer comes to give a speech about how “Bar finals are not that serious…”
Better leave this place.
18. When Bar final week finally reaches and there is a paper fixed for everyday.
You people are mad.
19. When you remember after your Criminal litigation paper that the answer you wrote was for Civil litigation.
It’s all over.
20. When you remember ‘your lowest grade is what you graduate with’ and you begin to calculate your future.
21. When you hear that they have released results.
It can’t be.
22. When you get the liver to check and see that you and your guys passed.
Time to go and buy wig and gown.
23. When you can now proudly respond to ‘D LAW’, ‘D BARR’ and ‘COUNSEL’!