You know that our prophecies never fail. All through Valentine’s Day, our prophets were on the mountain, praying for divine revelation. Now they have brought it back. Are you ready for this tea?
1. A lot of true identities will be discovered.
“Dear Gloria. I never knew you were a harlot, but thankful to know the truth at last.”
2. Because true identities have been unmasked, a lot of people will find themselves single.
Why did I even spell coconut with my waist? Why did I ask my wife to use a butt plug on me and spank me? Why did I ask him to choke me?
3. Joro’s inbox will overflow with messages.
Dear Joro, I found a dildo in my husband’s bag. Dear Joro, my girlfriend is not satisfied with six rounds. Dear Joro, is it okay to let my husband urinate in my mouth?
4. A lot of bank accounts will be in Intensive Care Unit by now.
Debit after debit…
5. A lot of people will go on dates today.
And while eating, they will discover that they are actually the side piece and not the true love, because why didn’t this date happen yesterday?
And then in 2 seconds, everything go burst…
Did you read our prophecies about the new NYSC allowance? 10 Things That Will Happen Now That NYSC allowance is now 33k