6 Things We Wish Came With The Adulting Package

May 5, 2020

Here’s some free advice, whatever you do, do not opt-in for the Nigerian adulting package. It is a scam. But I”m guessing it’s already too late for you. And if that is the case please join the line of wailers and “had I known” on the left there. Adulting is an extreme sport on its own but adulting in Nigeria is in a league of its own. But we thought long and hard about it and realized that the 6 things on this list would make the package way easier.

1. Access to a never ending back up cash reservoir.

Nothing teaches the essence of money as adulting does. 20 seconds in you understand exactly how much difference money makes when it is in the picture.

2. A very proactive guardian angel.

Preferably one with the energy level displayed in this GIF and one that we can actually talk to. This guardian angel’s most important KPI (asides making sure we don’t die) is warning us about stupid decisions we are about to make. Like calling an ex because we are bored.

2. An innate ability to cook.

Because food is important and the ability to whip up something both edible and delicious is important.

3. An eternal generator.

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Because we both know NEPA a.k.a PHCN lives to disappoint but we need electricity either way.

4. An equally proactive genie.

And we’ll be needing wishes like “rent”, “transport”, “concert tickets”, “data” and “miscellaneous” covered, please.

5. Free Netflix access for one week every month.

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To make up for the social life that will keep eluding us.

6. An “UPGRADE TO ADULTING OR REMAIN A CHILD” option.

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And most importantly, we would like the luxury of choice please. How do you just shove a person into something like Nigerian adulting simply because they are now old? Be kind please.

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