7 Nigerians Reveal Why They Don’t Want Children

July 16, 2020

Society has conditioned us — especially women — to think of procreation as a necessity. Thanks to the transparent conversations that social media has made possible, we now know that a lot of people don’t feel that way.

So, we asked a bunch of Nigerians who don’t want children to share why they feel that way and the kind of reactions their decision typically gets. Here are 7 of the most revealing answers we got.

Chioma, 30/Female

I’ve known I didn’t want kids since I was 12. I’ve never had a maternal bone in my body. I’m not like a mean person or anything, but that’s just not me. I literally cannot picture myself being anyone’s mother.

Those who don’t understand are quick to tell me that I’ll eventually change my mind. It’s been 18 years and nothing. They also say I’ll eventually get lonely and regret my choice, but I really don’t see that happening.

Ebuka, 28/Male

I was 25 when I realised I don’t want biological kids. I usually tell people the main reason is that I think it’s selfish and egomaniacal to have biological children, especially when you could just adopt. 

The real reason I don’t want them, however, is my awareness of just how fucked up I am. I wouldn’t want to burden a child with my genes. Honestly, both reasons are equally true.

My mother has accepted it. She initially thought it was just a phase, but knowing that I am open to adopting with a partner made her a lot more open to the idea. Everyone else I’ve told thinks I’m insane. 

Tobi, 23/Female

I’ve known I didn’t want kids for almost two years now. The main reason is that I’m tired of looking out for people and sacrificing my happiness for others, especially entitled family members.

I also have keloids and there’s a high chance of it spreading after childbirth. I don’t want to hate my body because of any child, then end up resenting the child in the process. People have called me selfish, but I don’t care. 

Obi, 29/Male

I realised that I didn’t want kids about 3 years ago. I love kids, so It was painful to accept that if I really wanted to have a fulfilled and happy life, I’d be better off not having them. I’ve made peace with my decision. 

I also can’t understand why anyone, especially a 3rd world citizen, would want to bring another human into this messed up world. How do you look at all the shit going on and think a child deserves this?

A few weeks ago, my uncle called me selfish for not wanting to carry on the name of my father as his first son. Meanwhile, I have 2 brothers and my father is still very much alive.

Bola, 30/Female

I realised — more like accepted — that I didn’t want kids 2 years ago. I just don’t see the point in having them. I haven’t been able to answer for myself why I should have them. Like, what’s the purpose? 

It doesn’t help that they are expensive. If I have a child that’s anything like me, I’d end up BROKE broke. Also, minus the legitimate fear of pregnancy, I don’t think I have it in me to be motherly.

When I tell people, they usually scoff or get mad. People swear that I’ll change my mind once I’m older or in love. For me, having a child just to make a man happy would be torture, not love. 

Maryam, 34/Female

I’ve known I didn’t want to have kids (or get married) for as long as I can remember. It’s just not my calling. Not only am I not maternal, I completely freak out whenever I think of pregnancy and childbirth.

I also think the world is an evil and scary place, so why would I want to bring a child into it? This pain? This suffering? There’s only so much you can realistically protect your child from. 

I’ve been called selfish a lot. I remember telling one of my exes and he got really mad. He called me a witch and said I have a spiritual family, and that’s why I refused to marry and have kids with him.

Funmi, 22/Female

I’ve kind of always known I didn’t want kids, but I only started talking openly about it when I was 19. I feel it’s a lot of responsibility and I’m not sure I have the capacity to handle it. 

Earth is already over-populated and reproduction feels like narcissism to me. Also, if I had a choice, I wouldn’t even exist, so why would I want to put someone else through that? 

NerdEfiko

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

October 7, 2019

You’d think that, by now, you would have accepted that five days out of the seven in a week are not yours. Like at what point does this adulting thing become a normal routine? You would be having the best time of your life (by your standards) until Sunday creeps in to remind you that […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

February 24, 2021

Omo the country is hard and things are expensive. How cann a poor person like me and you survive like this with a salary that vanishes the moment you buy one thing? My salary after I buy one plate of food. How best can we make our salary last longer? We might have some ideas […]

February 24, 2021

Marriage is a big deal, no doubt. A few months ago, we spoke to a few Nigerian women who regret making the decision to commit their lives to one partner. We spoke with a few Nigerian men about the same issue. Here’s what they had to say. 1. Zayn I didn’t envisage that getting married […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 3, 2020

While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

More from Inside Life

February 24, 2021

Omo the country is hard and things are expensive. How cann a poor person like me and you survive like this with a salary that vanishes the moment you buy one thing? My salary after I buy one plate of food. How best can we make our salary last longer? We might have some ideas […]

February 23, 2021

If you grew up in Nigeria and played with Nigerian kids, you probably played some interesting games. The games in this article though are the ones that were guaranteed to always end in tears. Which ones made you cry? 1. After Round One With this game, the fighting usually starts when someone decides that they […]

February 23, 2021

If you are a cat owner, you can definitely relate to any of the things in this post. 1) Being a servant Your main purpose is to serve them, worship them, and adore them. Do you think you are a parent? Ha! You are nothing but a servant created to tend to the wills of […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X