7 Types of Nigerian Breakups

May 5, 2020

Breakups are never a straight forward thing. It’s admitting to yourself that the forever you were talking about has expired in 3 months. Not an easy thing to do. Here’s a list of some of the most common types of Nigerian breakups.

1. The one where they break up with you.

A.k.a you got dumped. It’s usually painful and sometimes humiliating. Sometimes it’s entirely out of the blues, you drop a #couplegoals picture with a sweet caption on IG and then come on Whatsapp to see a paragraph detailing why the relationship is no longer working. Other times you see it coming and you’re like “Oh finally”.

2. The one where you break up with them

A.k.a you dumped them. It feels good sometimes but it also earns you the “wicked ex” title. You become the reason why somebody’s child no longer believes in true love and the inspiration behind the tweets they make going forward.

3. The one where you both just ghost each other.

With this breakup you just ghost the very existence out of each other. There’s no formal “it’s over” talk, no search for closure, just a mutual agreement to agree that the other person no longer exists.

4. The formal breakup.

zikoko- types of Nigerian breakup

This is the one where there is an actual breakup speech with closing remarks and sometimes a vote of thanks too. Sometimes it’s cordial other times Twitter hears about it complete with shocking details about each other’s private lives.

5. The informal breakup.

They one where they drop the message in the most belittling way. Or you just see them on a comment thread on twitter representing team single. Somebody whose number you saved with an emoji o. When you chat them up they hit you with a punchline from this list.

6. The breakup that spans over days.

zikoko- types of Nigerian breakup

This is the kind of breakup that spans over days because you are both still trying to talk over a lot of things. It’s a process. You both don’t really have closure yet so you keep meeting to talk about it and probably complicate the entire thing further.

7. The breakup where you both cuss each other out.

zikoko- types of Nigerian breakup

When you catch them cheating and you just lose your shit and cuss the hell out of them. And then you shout “It’s over” in case they didn’t get the drift.

So that’s 7 types of Nigerian breakups, which have you experienced?

Blessing Onyelobi

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Rich Nigerian Auntie
June 23, 2021

A rich Nigerian auntie doesn’t refer to those aunties from your father’s side that do nothing but comment on your weight and ask you when you’d be getting married. The rich Nigerian auntie is an aesthetic bigger than one person — and here’s how to be sure you are one… 1. You have the dress […]

June 23, 2021

They say, “money is not everything” but have you seen credit alerts? Particularly these 5 Types listed below? 1. Alert from someone who said “send your account number” ages ago This is how wide you’ll smile. May such people not sleep until they’ve credited you oh. 2. Salary alerts Especially when your salary has finished […]

June 23, 2021

Music they say gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. Music is healing, it is an explosive expression of humanity, something we are all touched by. No matter what culture we’re from, everyone loves music and that is why we are particularly excited about this […]

June 23, 2021

The morning after having sex should be the most romantic, regardless of the relationship you have with the woman you just had sex with. You have to be grateful for her act of service. How you greet her the morning after is the easiest way to show your gratitude. Here’s a list of ways to […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 11, 2019

Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

More from Inside Life

Rich Nigerian Auntie
June 23, 2021

A rich Nigerian auntie doesn’t refer to those aunties from your father’s side that do nothing but comment on your weight and ask you when you’d be getting married. The rich Nigerian auntie is an aesthetic bigger than one person — and here’s how to be sure you are one… 1. You have the dress […]

June 23, 2021

They say, “money is not everything” but have you seen credit alerts? Particularly these 5 Types listed below? 1. Alert from someone who said “send your account number” ages ago This is how wide you’ll smile. May such people not sleep until they’ve credited you oh. 2. Salary alerts Especially when your salary has finished […]

June 23, 2021

The morning after having sex should be the most romantic, regardless of the relationship you have with the woman you just had sex with. You have to be grateful for her act of service. How you greet her the morning after is the easiest way to show your gratitude. Here’s a list of ways to […]

June 21, 2021

We asked Nigerians the worst zodiac signs they have dated and these are some of the responses we received: Queen, 22  Virgos (August 23 – September 22) I believe in astrology but I don’t exactly live by it. Even though  I know that the compatibility of signs does not determine the success of a relationship, […]

June 19, 2021

The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a 27-year-old heterosexual woman who rarely has sex. She talks about almost getting married to an ex boyfriend who betrayed her trust by cheating on her multiple times and how this experience shaped her interest in sex.

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X