One thing nobody ever really prepares you for when you visit Ibadan, is the types of drivers you will encounter. From bus drivers to taxi drivers, there is a different level of drama attached to each one.
But today, let’s focus on Micra drivers. If you ever plan to visit Ibadan, prepare yourself to meet any of these types of drivers:
1. The one whose Micra is close to the grave.
If you enter this man’s taxi, anything you see, just take it like that. He himself knows the state of his Micra, and that’s why he is drives as slowly as he does.
2. The one who forgets he is driving a Micra and is competing with an okada.
This type of driver will speed so much, you will start to wonder if you are acting “Fast and Furious 7,” Ibadan edition.
3. The snail.
His Micra is not close to the grave, neither is it suffering from any condition. This taxi driver is just as slow as anything else. Don’t you dare ask him to hurry up and drive faster, unless you are ready to hear your family’s history laced with hot curses.
4. The chatterbox.
THIS TYPE OF DRIVER ALWAYS HAS SOMETHING TO SAY! He will talk from the moment you enter the taxi and when you exit. Make the mistake of indulging him and you will find yourself on the set of Cho-Cho-Cho: Letting An Ibadan Cab Driver Talk Me To Death.
5. The one whose seats are smelling.
Yes, they exist. Once you settle your buttocks on the seat, a strange smell will just waft up your nose. If you are not careful, you will probably think you farted. It is when you alight that you realise what actually happened.
6. The one who will insult you the passenger.
One thing you should know is this: it doesn’t matter what you do or did not do, some of these taxi drivers are simply out to insult you. If you enter such a taxi, just keep quite and accept your insults like that. It’s a perk of the trip.
7. The one who will withhold your balance.
They usually come with a warning: “Hold your change.” Once you make the costly mistake of entering without the change, anything your eyes see, just take it like that. After all, you were warned before entering, didn’t you?
8. The one who will let you go with the money but will insult your life.
Sometimes, you might not have the required change, and the driver is forced to let you go with your money. In Ibadan, you will meet some drivers who will let you go with the money and not say anything. And on the other hand, you will meet some drivers who will let you go with the money but insult your life and heap every known curse on that single naira note. It is what it is.
Did we miss any? Tell us in the comments!
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