9 Things Single People Can Do During ‘Weather For Two’

April 18, 2021

Weather for Two? That can be hard when you are the only one. But don’t worry, we care about your wellbeing in such perilous times. That’s why we came up with a list of productive things you can do when Weather for Two arrives.

1. Put your house in order.

Weather for two? No. Weather for cleaning your house, washing your toilet and doing the necessary housekeeping. Na only you dey, so you better do single person work.

2. Pray.

This is the time your prayers will be speedily answered. While your mates are bumping genitals, you will be in communion with the divinity. Ayayayaya!

3. Pick beans.

What will you eat when Weather for Two ends? You better start preparing now.

4. Drink hot tea.

Weather for Two? Nope. Weather for Tea. Put your kettle on fire and boil water dear. Your body system needs nutrition, not tlof-tlof or cuddling.

5. Go on Twitter to tweet ‘God when.’

Let it not be that you are not alive. You never know, maybe you will jam your fellow single person who will decide to make you their own. What God cannot do does not exist.

6. Reminisce about the direction of your life.

Image

It’s been 3 years now, and every Weather for Two is just you alone. What exactly are you doing wrong? Are your village people testing your microphone?

7. Exercise.

A fit body is better than tlof-tlof any day. Quote me anywhere, I said what I said.

8. Wrap yourself in a blanket.

Wrap yourself tight like moi-moi. Tighter than shawarma. If you cannot join Weather for Two people, fake it until something happens.

9. Sleep.

Wetin remain? When you wake up, you will be energised. Even me too, I am going to sleep now. We will jam in dreamland, my fellow single pringle.

Kunle Ologunro

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