9 Ways Nigerian Relatives Behave Like The Royal Family

March 8, 2021

Ever since Prince Harry married Meghan Markle, wahala has jammed kasala because HoW DaRe A bRiTiSh RoYaL mArRy A lIgHt-SkInNeD bLaCk GiRl?

Of course, Nigerians have had a lot to say about the whole palaver. But we seem to be forgetting that we Nigerians have some family members who behave like the British Royal Family but have zero royalty attached to them.

 And here’s how:

1. They lie against your partner.

They just love to lie, if your partner raises their left hand they will say they raised their right hand. If it rains during the dry season they will accuse your partner of causing it, that its witchcraft from their father’s village. 

2.They go around sharing your gist and your partner’s gist like party packs.

Both the one you did oh and the one you did not do, they will share. The day you make a single mistake, all the Whatsapp groups will hear about it. First to do no dey pain, it is when you do your own back they start to cry and feel attacked. 

3. They fight against inter-tribal marriage.

In the year of our lord 2021, they are still fighting you because you married from so and so tribe.

4.They blame anything that goes on in your life on your partner.

It’s really laughable, any small thing that happens to you, they will say it’s your partner that caused it. ‘’If you married so and so, you won’t have all these problems’’. If they tell you such, smile. Now say to them, “You that married the person your parents approved of, why is your life still the way it is?” 

Gbas gbos. 

5.They view your partner as an outsider and not your immediate family

Maybe these ones don’t know common Social Studies abi Home Economics. They still think you are their immediate family after marriage, anyway, it’s not your fault that they don’t know book. 

6. They accuse your partner of trapping you and using jazz

The absence of love in their lives make the idea of love seem superficial and unattainable, coupled with the fact that they are entitled and sometimes dumb. If you shower your partner with love and affection they will say it is jazz. Instead of them to use that jazz to find love, they will be there, beefing you.

7.They ask for a male child first.

They aren’t the ones carrying the pregnancy, but they want you to give birth to a male first child. It’s not like they have any tangible thing to give your children, money they don’t have, a crown they don’t have. But they’ll be opening their mouth woahh.

8. They expect your partner to behave according to their dictates.

They don’t even have their house in order but they want to tell your partner to jump when they say jump, and dance when they say dance. If you tell them to jump now, they will be shouting because they are not fit. 

9.They want you to live with them.

They want you to live with them so they can do their amebo very well. If you are far away from them, they will be getting third-hand gist and they don’t want that. The closer you are to them, the easier it is for them to be wicked.

Avatar

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

June 19, 2021

The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a 27-year-old heterosexual woman who rarely has sex. She talks about almost getting married to an ex boyfriend who betrayed her trust by cheating on her multiple times and how this experience shaped her interest in sex.

June 19, 2021

There are friends you’ve had for years and those you have had for a short while, but how old is your longest friendship? Let’s find out: Relationships can be hard, and sometimes you just need someone to give you a bit of advice. Ask Ozzy is our new advice column where you send Zikoko the […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 11, 2019

Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

More from Inside Life

June 19, 2021

The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a 27-year-old heterosexual woman who rarely has sex. She talks about almost getting married to an ex boyfriend who betrayed her trust by cheating on her multiple times and how this experience shaped her interest in sex.

June 17, 2021

Femi*, 26, and Yemisi*, 25, have been dating for two years. Today on Love Life, they talk about helping each other grow and be better people and how the lockdown helped them transition into a long distance relationship. What’s your earliest memory of each other?  Yemisi: In November 2018, I asked people on my Twitter […]

June 16, 2021

Quotes about money- If you’re a Nigerian and you think about money a lot, this post will make you laugh a little. We scoured the internet for quotes about money that Nigerians can relate to. Enjoy, and try not to cry. 1. “I’m so poor, I can’t even pay attention.“- Ron Kittle This is a […]

Thick thigh problems
June 16, 2021

Thick thighs save lives started as a body-positive slogan, and while it has made people a lot more confident about their bodies, it’s not all rainbows. We’ve highlighted a few thick thigh struggles in this article. 1. Your jeans always get ripped You’ve long realized that you can never have a favourite pair of jeans […]

June 15, 2021

As a Nigerian, sometimes you need to remind yourself that you are in the best country in the world. 1) We have delicious suya and kilishi Regulate open grazing? No. Ban Twitter? Yes. Ban Cryptocurrency? Yes. Why? Because Suya and Kilishi >>>>> Technological advancement. It’s quite simple really. 2) “Over raw” best in world rankings […]

June 15, 2021

Adulting is a scam and anyone who’s above 18 can attest to that. We are all tired of the daily ghetto adulting is, which is why we’ve come up with very helpful tips on how to escape it: 1.Change the year on your date of birth. Are you really an adult if the government doesn’t […]

June 12, 2021

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians. The subject of today’s Sex Life is a heterosexual 25-year-old man who became obsessed with penises when he realised his penis was small. He talks about how having a small penis affects his […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X