Is Kneeling The New Twale?

November 22, 2019

This is Zikoko’s Game of Votes Weekly Dispatch. We share the most important things that happen in Nigeria every week. 5pm Thursdays. Stay woke. 



Beggi Beggi, E No Good O 

Who knew Yahaya Bello, governor of Kogi State, was so influential? He definitely yields some kind of power over the who’s who in Nigerian politics if a whole Madame First Lady, Aisha Buhari, and Nasir El Rufai, Kaduna State Governor, can kneel in front of residents of Kogi state during a campaign on his behalf, begging them to vote him in for his second term as governor. 

Where did this happen?

Their theatre performance held at the Confluence Stadium in Lokoja, in front of a teeming crowd and an intrigued audience. We were intrigued when we heard that the hardcore El-Rufai fell on his knees, telling everyone to disregard the fact that Bello didn’t do anything worthwhile in his state during his first term. 

Even more ridiculous was the fact that El-Rufai deemed it reasonable to blame Yahaya Bello’s failings on his youth, stating that everyone should forgive him for his bad governance: “For every one that the governor has offended, I’m asking all of you to forgive him. He is young; he is supposed to make mistakes. When you are young, you make mistakes but you learn from them.”

Hmmm, colour us shocked that El-Rufai took a cue from Daddy Bubu with a spinoff of the lazy Nigeria youths mantra as if that’s a good enough excuse for Governor Bello’s ineptitude and nonpayment of salaries.

And Where Was Yahaya Bello While This Was Happening?

Right beside the two jokers grinning from ear to ear, probably thinking up ways to spend that N10 billion that was approved by the Senate two days to the Kogi state elections; budget padding things.


Nothing New, Just Election Insecurity Here And There 

Bayelsa and Kogi state held their gubernatorial election on Saturday, and as usual, mayhem and hell broke loose on election day. What would Nigeria be if thugs don’t appear to snatch ballot boxes and disrupt every electoral proceeding, basically spitting in the face of INEC?  

Okay, Seriously, What’s New?

Amid all the sporadic shootings and killings in the rerun senatorial elections in Kogi, Dino Melaye’s stated that his nephew got killed by a policeman’s bullet. Is this true or not? We’re not sure; it came from the horse’s mouth, so even though we take everything Melaye says with a pinch of salt we’re trying to believe that he wouldn’t joke about something so serious, least of all try to use it for political clout.

Meanwhile…

Meanwhile, Goodluck Jonathan was hella upset with members of his political party because of his alleged disagreement with the ex-governor of Bayelsa State, Seriake Dickson, over PDP’s decision to have Douye Diri run as the candidate for the Bayelsa State governor race.

The tea is that Goodluck Jonathan didn’t throw his weight behind Douye Diri; he didn’t lift a finger to support that poor man’s campaign, subtly giving APC a chance to become the ruling party in Bayelsa for the first time in history. The beef must have been strong for Daddy Jonah to quietly sabotage his party because of personal grievances, hope this won’t come back to bite him in the ass sha.



DID YOU MISS THIS?

  1. Bukola Dakolo’s case was dismissed by Justice Oathman A. Musa, who said that she was “insensitive” to the court of law and totally “sentimental”; Timi Dakolo had a lot to say about that matter.
  2. The African giant is taking over the world! On the heels of his expected trip to South Africa, after saying he’ll NEVER go back there, Burna Boy gets nominated for the GRAMMYS baby! 

NOT.THE.NEWS

Do you remember all the drama that Nigerian politicians have engaged in throughout the years? Do you even recall the name Dimeji Bankole? Well, since the 2010s are wrapping up we decided to create a list of some of the biggest political scandals Nigerians have been forced to experience by our craziest leaders.

Our fellas are still on the Jollof Road chopping the life of their heads but they’ve finally given a hint that all might not be as rosy as we thought on this road trip. Regardless of that though, we still believe they’re living the best life right now, at least they get to see all of West Africa while we are stuck here in Lagos traffic.


Ministry is moving

The dispatch is growing. If you enjoyed reading this, share this with someone, you hear?

Are you subscribed to our political newsletter Game of Votes? You should be subscribed to our political newsletter, Game of Votes. Here’s a link to subscribe if you’re not.

We tell you the most important things that happened in Nigeria, during the week, in a way that won’t bore you to death.

Avatar

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

September 24, 2019

So the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) recently mandated a charge (or fine) on any amount above a cash deposit of over 500k. It might sound like a big deal, and there was a social media outrage, but many people remain unlooking. The truth is most people are broke, so the issue doesn’t concern them […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

June 13, 2021

What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up. Man Like is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it means to […]

June 13, 2021

June 12 Protest: Yesterday, after months of planning, Nigerians took to the streets to protest against bad governance, abuse of human rights, worsening insecurity, and other forms of maladministration and mishandling of democracy in the country. Coincidentally, this protest happened one week after the Nigerian government’s sudden and unconstitutional Twitter ban. Yesterday was also Nigeria’s […]

June 12, 2021

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians. The subject of today’s Sex Life is a heterosexual 25-year-old man who became obsessed with penises when he realised his penis was small. He talks about how having a small penis affects his […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

More from Citizen

June 13, 2021

June 12 Protest: Yesterday, after months of planning, Nigerians took to the streets to protest against bad governance, abuse of human rights, worsening insecurity, and other forms of maladministration and mishandling of democracy in the country. Coincidentally, this protest happened one week after the Nigerian government’s sudden and unconstitutional Twitter ban. Yesterday was also Nigeria’s […]

June 12, 2021

By Doyin Olagunju If you were on social media on 27th May 2021, you must have seen a viral video involving Remi Tinubu, a former first lady of Lagos State and a current senator representing Lagos Central senatorial district, in a heated argument with another woman over the fact that Ms Tinubu called the woman […]

June 8, 2021

It’s been more than 72 hours since the federal government ordered the Twitter Ban, a decision that has denied millions of Nigerians without “You-Know-What” access to the social media platform. The question on everyone’s mind is “how much longer will this ill-thought-out and  extralegal decision hold?” The answer remains to be seen.  However, the Nigerian […]

June 7, 2021

Twitter Ban: The Nigerian Broadcasting Commission, in a statement issued today has ordered all Nigerian broadcasting stations to delete their Twitter accounts. The letter to the broadcasting organisations terms it as “unpatriotic” for any broadcaster in Nigeria to continue to use Twitter as a source of information gathering and dissemination in Nigeria. Different variations of […]

June 5, 2021

The Nigerian government’s decision to suspend popular social media platform ban will hit Nigeria’s teeming youth population, for whom Twitter has become a source of escape from the hard-hitting Nigerian situation. Many use the platform to find job opportunities, companionship and networking. It will also prove to be disastrous for small and medium scale businesses […]

June 5, 2021

The Attorney-General of the Federation and Minister of Justice, Abubakar Malami has directed that people violating the Twitter ban should immediately be prosecuted. Yesterday, the Federal Ministry of Information and Culture announced through a Twitter thread that it had indefinitely suspended Twitter operations in Nigeria. The suspension came after Nigeria’s Minister of Information and Culture, […]

June 5, 2021

On June 4, 2021, the Federal Ministry of Information and Culture announced through a Twitter thread that it had indefinitely suspended Twitter operations in Nigeria. The suspension came after Nigeria’s Minister of Information and Culture, Lai Mohammed, “announced the suspension in a statement issued in Abuja on Friday, citing the persistent use of the platform […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X