Hi Dimma, Can We Swap Lives.

July 10, 2019

As the proud child of my mother, I would NEVER openly admit to being envious of another human being. Yes, I might secretly stalk their Instagram pages and have their profiles permanently positioned in my Twitter search bar, but you would never hear me confess envy out loud.

Until today. Sowing the seed of coveteousness straight inna my heart is no other than the famed Nigerian beauty and lifestyle vlogger, Dimma Umeh. 

Sometime during the last week of June, while we were all dodging water puddles and stopping kidnappers with toy drones, super creator and my favourite beauty vlogger, Dimma Umeh, was getting flewed out, representing diverse content creators as a Panelist at the Cannes Lion International Festival of Creativity in France.

But is that the only reason for my envy? Absolutely not.

As one of the most authoritative voices on beauty and lifestyle in Nigeria, Dimma (who I am best friends with in my head), has a mass following with over 284k subscribers on her YouTube channel and around 13.2k on Twitter. But her social media following isn’t why I am in my current predicament either. Let’s examine a few things shall we:

First, look at the flick of that wrist.

As someone whose make-up tools consist of a stringy brow-brush I’ve had since University (I graduated three years ago), a tube of kajal I’m pretty sure gave me an eye infection and some everyday lipgloss, I would very gladly trade my cosmetic abilities (and collection) with Dimma Umeh’s. I mean, just look at that seamless blend, I can’t even apply dusting powder correctly.

Second, Consistency.

As far back as the year 2011, before every Nigerian with an expired student visa decided to start a v(b)log, Dimma was creating content specially for Nigerians with beauty interests. At the time, she was known as ThatIgboChick. Reviewing everything from make-up brands, to skincare products and even lifestyle trends.

Sis has been winning awards for her craft since the year 2012, and hasn’t fallen off once, thanks to her consistently putting out good work for the past 8 years.

*Stares at forgotten drafts from 2013.

A Multi-Talented Queen

A one-woman army, Dimma scripts, shoots and edits the majority of her productions. I still struggle with scheduling emails. This is not an exaggeration.

She gets to live here.

That’s it. That’s the line.

All The PR

Do you know what happens when you consistently put out good work? Let me know when you find out. For Miss Umeh however, a perk of her consistently putting out engaging works is a never ending deluge of free Public Relation  packages. These being an opportunity for her to test, love and review products before anyone else gets to.

Other bonuses include getting flewed out, of course.

Somebody please let Ms. Umeh know I’m ready to exchange lives whenever she is. Pros include: I’m alive.

Cons: Well, I once drew my brows and got asked if I had suffered a stroke.

Boyin Plumptre

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