We Can Tell You Everything You’re Thinking This Monday.

January 13, 2020

Doesn’t it feel like it was only yesterday you were showing the boys your ‘tesumole‘ and ‘galala‘ crossover dance, while taking your first shot of Friday night’s rocks.

Now it’s Monday morning and you’re waking up at 3 AM to surprise traffic that somehow always manages to surprise you.

We feel you and we know how just how badly Monday is kicking your ass. To prove it, here’s exactly how you’re you’re feeling this Monday in Moremi’s Nigeria:

Why is everyone being alive so loudly?

If like most people today, you’re nursing a hangover that has defied every trick in the book you know, you’re probably hating on Kunle who is sitting at his desk, eating crackers a little too loudly for your liking.

If it’s 12 PM now, and I have until 5 PM, that means I just have to survive 2 rounds of 2 hours and one break and I’m good.

We see you Isaac Newton.

If I take my break at 4 PM, will this office let me escape around that time?

Yes, we know you’ve thought this every week since you started working. The answer is no, think happy thoughts instead. Xri bou dah.

Do I even have to work?

Who salary epp? Actually don’t answer that.

Lord, if you make this weekend come quickly, I promise I won’t waste it. I’ll sleep and plan the rest of my year like I promised on January 1st.

Yeah right. Call us when you’re outside 57 on Friday, okay? First shot on us.

Maybe if I don’t look at my watch, it’ll make time move faster.

*Stops looking at watch 12:30 PM. Waits two hours, time — 12:32 PM.

Your thoughts? 👀

Boyin Plumptre

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