I Attended a Wedding and Didn’t Eat Jollof; Here’s Why

September 30, 2019

Remember that video that went viral which featured a groom slapping his new bride at their reception? I never thought I would see such a thing live in my lifetime but I’m pretty sure Mother Nature was snickering somewhere in her heavenly villa at my belief.

So, get this, I was invited to a traditional wedding and I was ready to slay. I mean, facebeat was on point, my tribe were in place–we were gonna be the life of the party, dance to our hearts desire and of course, eat jollof and dodo. Because that mix is ever important.

The ceremony was well underway when we got in and as per friends of friends of the couple we had the best seats in the house, you know, levels.

Anyway, I was busying waiting for my food while watching the emcee do his thing, basically asking the bride and groom to do ridiculous things that got the guests laughing. Then thunder struck! Bride was told to narrate how they first met; she gave her account but an argument ensued between the couple, which we all thought was just a lovey-dovey thing going on until it turned serious. Groom was having none of what the bride was saying and we were all laughing at his serious expression until-gbas gbos! He slapped her.

Say what! We knew it was no longer play; everyone was frozen with shock for a moment and then, pandemonium! Bride’s father went for the guy, emcee was in the midst of it all trying to calm everyone down, getting his suit jacket torn in the process. Me? I was just there looking confused, wondering what the hell was going on.

Did that just happen?

I decided it was a family problem, wondered what the newly joined family was gonna do about such a sticky situation. Asides from handling the scandal-you know there are just some nitwits that are waiting on the sidelines to victimshame people-what will the bride do? Will she stay or leave? What will her family do about the whole thing? Has he been hitting her before and she hid it until the volcano erupted?

Anyway, there was no one to answer my questions at that moment, guests were scurrying away like antelopes and the women in the groom’s family had removed their gele’s, tying it around their waist, in order to focus on the gbege at hand.

The bride’s family were having none of it. I figured they had a lot on their hands and couldn’t bother about who got served at their party or not. There goes my jollof rice

Later on, rumor had it that the groom had mental illness which had been left uncured because his parents thought seeking psychological help was just not done, especially as an African. That led to his manifestations on the D day, which apparently shocked everyone except his family, who were trying to get him off their hands and basically make him another person’s problem.

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