How To Answer “Are You Married?” Like A Married Lagos Man

November 30, 2021

Have you ever been in a situation where you’re out having a good time and some random person just asks if you’re married (even though they most likely already know the answer)? If you’ve ever been in this situation and didn’t know how to fire back, here are some responses you can go with next time that will make the nosy person’s head spin.

And? 

Ask them what that has to do with anything. So you’re married, and so bloody what? Is it a union or a prison? Remind them that it’s really not that big of a deal. It’s just a certificate and a ring. 

Just a little bit 

How can anyone blame you for cheating when you’re just a little bit married? Basically, you have just one leg in the marriage, and are free to wander and philander around Lagos with the other leg.. If they ask what it means to be a little bit married, tell them to take your answer like that and redirect their focus to the love you have for them. 

What exactly do you mean by “married”? 

Turn the tables around and interrogate the person. What exactly do they mean by “married”? And yes, it’s a compulsory exam question worth 20 marks. There are many ways to go around a marriage. This is the time to be smart and find that loophole. 

Marriage? What does that even mean? 

It’s time for you to act like your brain is empty. Marriage? What a foreign concept! All you know is that you’re single and ready to mingle. Anyone that claims to be married to you is obviously delusional. 

Are any of us truly married? 

Very important question. Who created these laws of marriage in the first place? Were Adam and Eve married? No. It’s high time we all learned to live on vibes and vibes alone. 

But I’m here 

Remind them that despite your alleged partner, you are here with them,professing your love, and that’s all that matters. Every other thing is noise. What else do they even want from you? If this isn’t true love, we don’t know what else it could be. 

Is it your business? 

Anybody who asks about your marital status in public clearly doesn’t mean you well. They were probably sent  by your village people to embarrass you. It’s only right that you tear your singlet and fight because they clearly want  violence.

Abeg X3

Why are they boxing you in? That’s very disrespectful. It’s time for you to shut down naysayers challenging the validity of your single-hood. Saying you’re married is like an attack and you have to dismiss these accusations to avoid further embarrassment.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

February 26, 2020

Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”. Go ahead:

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X