Nigerian Women Reveal What Men Should Stop Copying From Porn

July 23, 2020

A lot of men were first introduced to sex via pornography. Many of the depictions are either unreal or downright painful. And sometimes, a failure to achieve some of these “sexual feats” leaves many men feeling inadequate.

In a bid to make men’s sexual relationships more fulfilling, and by extension make sex enjoyable for their partners, I spoke to a couple of Nigerian women. Here are some of the things men copy from porn that women say are unrealistic/unnecessary:

1) Softly softly please.

“The acrobatics women do in porn are not feasible in reality. Please, don’t break my leg and neck. God no go shame us. One time, I had a muscle pull during sex and you know what? Never again. But for that one, after all the shouting, we still continued.”

2) Stop expecting moans.

“Moaning is not a default activity. Moan when it’s good. Those idiots in porn open the door and start moaning. No be so e take be. Moaning should be a communication tool, not a default something. Use it as feedback. Besides, not everyone is comfortable with making noises during sex.”

3) Do your best and leave the rest.

“Stop trying to make me squirt. It’s not everyone that has that ability. Besides, I found out that porn stars put a pipe down there that releases the stream. Pls and pls.”

4) PSA:

“One thing that is universal for every man, even one that has “mastered your body” is that they tend to change the rhythm (slamming and going faster) than they should because the partner seems to be enjoying it.

Friendly advice: Just maintain the pace.”

5) Please, jot this down.

“Men want the ass to clap and flap. It’s aesthetics. Just because female pornstars perform the ass clapping and waist whining while having sex, it doesn’t mean we can just do it too. Some man will just expect your waist to start whining in a doggy position forgetting that there’s work to be done by both parties.”

6) Extremely important.

“Except for women that enjoy rough sex, smacking the butt and yanking her head out will only cause her to use a strong painkiller.”

7) Oh. Wow.

“Porn because of how short it is skips foreplay. Also, the pornstars are on drugs. So, your partner just kisses neck and shoulders and bam off pant, and do the doggy. Whereas the woman needs a breast massage, kisses in a hundred places, fingering, oral stimulation before the actual penetration. Foreplay can be a whole 40mins.”

8) Have you heard?

“You can’t just bring out your dick in the middle of sex and want to try anal. No proper conversation, just trying to surprise me. Ahan.”

9) Real life is different from porn.

“Men assume all women love swallowing cum. From my perspective, I definitely do not. It’s salty and weird tasting and leaves a metallic taste in my mouth that I could do without. I’ve heard some other women say the same.”

10) Fellas, listen.

“Slow Circular motions on the clitoris, don’t flicker like its a light bulb switch.”

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

June 26, 2021

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians. The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 35-year-old heterosexual man. He talks about how exploring unconventional forms of sex and chasing excitement helped him find sexual liberation.  The subject of today’s Sex Life […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X