1. When they refuse to slow down for someone crossing the road.
Calm down, abeg.
2. When they create an extra lane out of thin air.
What’s doing you?
3. When they start horning a millisecond after the traffic light turns green.
Can you people chill?
4. How they drive over speed bumps:
Don’t injure yourself.
5. When they see pedestrians trying to use a zebra crossing.
Today is the day you die.
6. How they splash water on pedestrians when it rains:
Who sent you to not have car?
7. When you beg to drive in front of a Nigerian driver.
Please, I’m in a hurry.
8. When traffic moves a bit and they start horning.
Should I climb the car in my front?
9. When they skip the queue and try to cut in front of you.
So, all of us on the queue are daft, abi?
10. How much space Nigerian drives leave between their car and yours:
Their car is basically dry humping yours.
11. When they refuse to reverse so someone else can pass.
The stubbornness always jumps out.
12. How they start begging when they get caught on a one-way street:
Oh? So you can calm down now?