16 Struggles Any Nigerian Hospital Patient Understands

February 24, 2016
Ever stepped foot in any Nigerian hospital? You begin to wonder why you fell sick in the first place. These situations must have definitely happened to you.

1. When you step in and a whiff of hospital smell hits you

Jesus what is this odor?

2. When all the nurses are shouting like it’s a market place

Aunty nurse calm down, it’s never that deep.

3. The people waiting to see one doctor that is ‘not on seat’

Please, excuse me sah amatyour back.

4. The wait before your card number gets called for consultation

I should just have died at home in peace.

5. Nurses asking you the most questions and checking random things

Ahan, aunty is it modelling audition we are doing here?

6. When they try to check your temperature with the back of their hand

Wait, what? In this 21st century?

7. When the doctor asks “what’s wrong with you”

How am I supposed to know? Is that not your job sir? That is why I came here fam.

8. And he proceeds to press the spot that hurts repeatedly

Come on now, are you checking for pain at all? Why are you pressing it like fresh bread?

9. When the doctor goes “I will diagnose you and prescribe some drugs”

Okay now captain obvious.

10. When he finally does his math and says “it is malaria”

After all your pressing and writing story, everytime ordinary malaria or typhoid.

11. Trying to read the doctors handwriting

Why is everything looking like his signature?

12. Looking at your prescription slip

For only malaria?

13. When the nurses say “remove your trouser for injection”

Smh you can’t even sweet talk me small, so harsh so rude.

14. On ‘admission’ and they wake you up from sleep to take your sleeping meds

ARE YOU SERIOUS?????

15. When the nurses sleep off and forget to change your drip and it has finished

Murderers!

16. When you are finally well and they don’t want to discharge you

I SAID I AM FEELING FINE! Please let me go what is this imprisonment????

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