Nigerian universities breed different types of lecturers. The good, the bad, the ugly, you’ll find them in any university. If you schooled in a Nigerian university, you’ll easily know these kinds of lecturers.
1. The disciplinarians.
These ones don’t take nonsense at all. You can’t come late to class, you can’t afford to miss classes. Sometimes they can even request for your notes at the end of the semester. You’ll just be thinking, “Am I in secondary school or university?” But you cannot complain because they can descend on you and show you pepper.
2. The preachers.
This can be a man or a woman. Half the time they teach, they pause to ask if you have given your life to Jesus. They don’t judge, but you dare not sag your trousers or enter their class wearing full-make up. Your own don meet you be that.
3. The sadists.
“A belongs to God, B belongs to me, C belongs to the brilliant ones among you, D belongs to the ones who are trying, E and F belongs to everybody. By the way, don’t read for a First Class. You can never get it.”
4. The entrepreneurs.
They’re not here to teach, just to sell you handouts and books. And you must buy these books, not because the books will come out in the exam, but because your name in the list of those who paid is what will help you pass the exams.
5. The confused ones.
These ones don’t even know what they’re teaching. But they will come in and try to do abracadabra. But in the end, they’ll leave you more confused than you were before they came.
6. The marlians.
No, we don’t mean that they feed on weed. What we mean is that they’re radicals. (Actually, is Naira Marley radical?) They won’t stand to see students being cheated. They’re the student lecturers, the one you can go to when you feel oppressed.
7. The daddies and mummies.
These ones treat you like their own child. They give you a ride in their car, dash you money sometimes, and always ask you how you are coping. You can’t help but love them.
8. The clowns.
No dull moment in their class. Always a new joke. Until class ends and you realise you didn’t gain anything. But you’ll still attend the next class and the class after that. Because you too, you are an unserious human being.