The Different Ways You Know You’re In Trouble In A Nigerian Home

November 16, 2016

1. When your mother gives you that ‘let us get home first’ side-eye in public

That side-eye is dangerous oh, better start the begging!

2. When you get home and the first thing you hear is ‘oya just kneel down there’

You’ll just meet your parents with cane chilling for you on the floor.

3. That ‘mogbe’ moment when you’re dodging your mom’s uppercut, but she thinks you’re challenging her

‘Please, I was just protecting myself, I don’t want to kill you, ah!’

4. Or you get back home and you hear: ‘just go back to wherever you’re coming from’ izz all over

This one is just the worst.

5. When you just finish showing your junior one who senior pass, and you meet them in your parents room like:

You already know they’ve finished downloading the beating to your parents plus fisi.

6. When you’re arguing with your parents and you hear: ‘okay, just wait for me’

Please I don’t want to oh!!

7. When you forget who the real oga at the top is, and think you can get home anytime you want

‘So my house is Quilox that you can be entering around 11 abi?’
Boyin Plumptre

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