A Post For Nigerians Who Love Food, By Nigerians Who Love Food

Avon Healthcare | Inside Life
July 20, 2016

1. When you don’t want to go out but you hear “free food”.

My body is ready.

2. When you go for a buffet and someone tries to enter your front.

Better respect yourself.

3. When your mother starts doubting your stomach.

4. When the person serving food at the owambe keeps passing you.

See my life.

5. When the caterer tries to block your blessing.

Better face your front.

6. Your plate at every owambe:

Can’t dull it.

7. When you follow your friend to a fancy restaurant and you see the tiny portions.

Am I a goat?

8. When there is still flesh on your bone and your waiter tries to clear your plate.

You want to die, ba?

9. When someone wants to take you on a date that doesn’t involve food.

Are we in the abroad?

10. Your monthly food budget:

Food is the most important, abeg.

11. When you buy take-away but finish the food before you get home.

Don’t judge me.

12. When your friend says you spend too much money on food.

Face your front.

13. Nigerian mothers: “…when you’re always eating.”

Hay God!

14. When you dish your food and one aunty comes to say “for you alone?!”

Please, go to your house.

15. When your siblings eat the food you kept in the fridge.

Blood is not thicker than food oh!

16. When the person saying grace for food starts praying too long.

Can we eat, biko?

17. You, leaving every party with food like:

I cannot carry last.

If you love food as much as we do, don’t carry last on the 500dishes Foodfest:

YASSS!!! Zikoko will be there hosting the food competition of life – Zikoko Hunger Games.

And before you say Zikoko never did anything nice for you, we will be giving away free tickets to some lucky readers.

All you have to do is share this post on either Twitter or Facebook and we will pick at random.

You can also get 10% off when buying your 500dishes foodfest tickets using the voucher code “ZIKOKO”.

Head to 500dishes.com/foodfest to get your tickets.
Sponsored by
Avon Healthcare

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

June 14, 2020

Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

More from Oldies

May 27, 2021

Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]

February 12, 2020

Forget Tunji and Daniella, if you’re wondering who your best friend is, it’s most definitely the phone you’re either reading this from or the phone that’s somewhere within your vision; we know this because you’re definitely a phone addict that gets a little impatient when you’re too far away from your phone. Okay, let’s not […]

February 8, 2020

Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table. 1. You, when you hear that Valentine is […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X