What’s The Pettiest Breakup Story You’ve Ever Heard?

July 26, 2018
Breakups can be painful, messy or even easy. But nothing is funnier than when a  breakup is petty. We asked eight people what the pettiest reason they ever initiated a breakup up was and their answers left us in stitches.

“He didn’t used to tamba after using the toilet, and he refused to do it even when I told him about it, abeg I couldn’t deal” – Funke

“Every single time I sat down to play FIFA she’d interrupt me. I mean every single time. She clearly didn’t like me” – David

“She had a hugeeee head. I had never seen that kind of head in my life before. Like it was fine until I started thinking of marriage, I couldn’t allow my kids have that kind of head” – Steve

“She said Ghanian Jollof was better than Nigerian Jollof. I was already on my way out of the relationship but that was the breaking point” – Lanre

“He looked almost exactly like one wicked teacher that tormented me in secondary school. I tried to ignore it at first but the relationship ended after 3 months” – Morayo

“He ate too much. That one on its own wasn’t even a problem but everytime I was eating he’ll start begging for my food. Like he’ll finish his own and still beg for my own again. The thing used to frustrate me.” – Ope

“I didn’t like his sister. She was my senior in secondary school and she used to punish me all the time. The day I found out, we broke up shortly after, I didn’t want anything to do with any family that can have that kind of wicked person(the sister).” – Faith

“When we met he was team beard gang, on our third date he came to pick me up with a clean shave it was like I was looking at another person, I stopped picking his calls after that date.” – Anjola

Have any petty breakup stories? Share!

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

December 2, 2021

Stanbic IBTC Holdings PLC, a member of Standard Bank Group, recently held the seventh edition of its flagship Corporate Social Investment Initiative to create awareness for children living with limb loss. The initiative tagged ‘Together4ALimb’ focused on children who had suffered limb loss, as beneficiaries of the initiative were provided with prosthetic limbs and empowered […]

Recommended Quizzes

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

More from Oldies

May 27, 2021

Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]

February 12, 2020

Forget Tunji and Daniella, if you’re wondering who your best friend is, it’s most definitely the phone you’re either reading this from or the phone that’s somewhere within your vision; we know this because you’re definitely a phone addict that gets a little impatient when you’re too far away from your phone. Okay, let’s not […]

February 8, 2020

Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table. 1. You, when you hear that Valentine is […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X