There are certain markers to confirm you grew up in a pretty regular Nigerian home. You probably grew up hating swallows, but evolved to appreciate the magnificence of starch and banga.
You also probably, at one time or the other, had a relative or ten live in your house while they found their footing.
That said, not all fingers are equal. Some of you only lived in Nigeria, while your families were thinking in Canada-nese In case you aren’t sure, here are ten signs you grew up in quite the unconventional Nigerian home:
Your parents returned from work and this wasn’t you and your siblings immediate reactions:
You guys actually continued watching TV even after they showed up. Miracle!
Kissing your parents goodnight wasn’t a strange thing at all.
Regula Nigerians told only one parent goodnight, and that was their Father in Heaven during bedtime prayers.
Your family stayed in hotels when you travelled abroad.
Not Aunty Bolanle’s colleague’s step daughter’s divorced husband’s place in Atlanta? Wondafu.
You could actually talk to your parents when they upset you. This wasn’t your only way of showing anger:
Must have been nice.
Your mom told you the correct location to drop things whenever you asked ‘where should I put it’.
I can’t even imagine a world where ‘put it on my head’ isn’t the default answer.
You could just ask your parents when you wanted to stay over at a friend’s place. You and your siblings didn’t have to play this game:
‘But I asked last time, ask mommy now. She likes your face’
You didn’t have to play a game of Russian Roulette whenever you saw this:
You were always sure ice-cream was waiting for you.
If you were Christain and nobody rubbed anointing oil on your head before major exams …
Again, we can’t imagine a world where this didn’t happen.
Your parents actually respected your privacy and didn’t barge into your room doing this:
Full effect would have been them leaving with the door open and not saying a word.
You kept the money visitors gave you for biscuit as a child.
I’m going to need you to confirm your nationality at this point.