The Nigerian Lover’s Guide To Cheating Respectfully

July 13, 2020

Cheating doesn’t always have to feel like a big betrayal. If you follow this simple guide, we promise you that all the partners you cheat on will appreciate your tact and consideration.

So, here are 11 ways to cheat respectfully.

1. You can cheat, but you must never get caught.

This is the most respectful thing to do. Cheat oh, but hide it well.

2. You can sleep with someone else, but never take off all your clothes.

The less of your body the person can see, the less serious the cheating is.

3. You can sleep with someone else, but make sure the lights are off.

Same logic applies here. If you didn’t see it, did the cheating really happen?

4. You can sleep with their friends, but never their best friend.

All their other friends are fair game, but the best friend is off limits.

5. You can sleep with a relative, but never their sibling or parent.

Cousins, uncles and aunties are allowed, but you have to draw the line somewhere.

6. You can sleep with other people, but only one round at a time.

Multiple rounds make the cheating too intimate. One round is acceptable.

7. You can cheat without a condom, but make sure pulling out occurs.

Respect your partner enough to pull out/not get nutted in.

8. You can cheat with their co-worker, but never their boss.

Respect them enough to not scatter their career.

9. You can cheat anywhere, but never on the bed you share.

The floor is fine. The kitchen is fine. The bathroom is fine. Just free the bed.

10. You can cheat with an ex because it’s not adding to your body count.

This doesn’t even really count as cheating.

11. You can cheat, but you must always feel guilty.

Feeling bad about cheating is the ultimate form of respect.

NerdEfiko

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

September 25, 2021

oraimo FreePods 3 Feature LeakFor a while now, oraimo has been cooking something awesome for her consumers, and it’s finally here. I guess it’s safe to say oraimo is like a fine wine that keeps getting better with time. When it comes to delivering a product that is not only affordable but also comes with […]

Recommended Quizzes

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X