The Zikoko Guide On What To Do When Your Friend’s Music Is Trash

March 1, 2021

Do you know what one of the most awkward things in the world is? Your friend comes up to you, handing you their phone to listen to their music while smiling hard, their eyes filled with hope and love so you listen but realize, it just isn’t good. Then they ask you, what do you think? Now you are in an awkward situation wondering what to say or do. Don’t worry, Zikoko dey for you. Here’s a guide on how to tell your friend their music career is a mistake.

Cut Up Your Ears After Listening To Their Song.


Just listen to us. Is it dramatic? Very. But it passes the message across. Once they finish playing the song for you, calmly remove the earphones from your ears, pick up a knife, look at them deep in their eyes, and in two swift motions, cut out both of your ears. I assure you, they’ll never sing again. I just hope you don’t have any other friend who wants to go into music and need your opinions because then, there’ll be a problem.

Have a Conversation About It.

Let’s say for whatever reason, you do not want to be dramatic and cut off your ears, you could talk to them and have a nice conversation. Here are our top picks for things to say to them after realizing their music is irredeemably bad.
‘A 9 to 5 might be more your speed, don’t you think?’
‘I think Chicken Republic is hiring. Think about it.’
‘We all have different talents. Keep trying, you’ll find yours.’
‘Is this a demo? As in, is this the finished song? Wow.’

Leave Job Openings Around Them.

Let’s say you want to go for something even more subtle. You could smile after listening to their song and in the coming days, cut out job opening clippings from newspapers and sprinkle them around their house. Borrow their phones, open job searching websites and hand the phone back to them. Drop some search flyers on their gas cooker. Use a job flyer as a fan. After one week, they’ll get the message.

Lie Your Ass Off, Forever.

I want you to know that lying is very much still an option. You could tell them their music is the best thing since sliced bread and that Beyonce should watch out. The problem with this is that once you’ve uttered this lie, get ready to commit to it. You’ll have to be their biggest cheerleader when they throw concerts and you are the only person in attendance, get ready to more than overcompensate.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

January 16, 2020

Hello, guys. Welcome to my Youtube channel (I have always wanted to say that). If you are anything like me, mathematics and anything financially inclined stresses you out. Health insurance, Pension, Tax, Compound Interest, Black Tax. But…This year we are being responsible. So, I decided to find available investments and I stumbled upon a miracle […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

December 2, 2021

Stanbic IBTC Holdings PLC, a member of Standard Bank Group, recently held the seventh edition of its flagship Corporate Social Investment Initiative to create awareness for children living with limb loss. The initiative tagged ‘Together4ALimb’ focused on children who had suffered limb loss, as beneficiaries of the initiative were provided with prosthetic limbs and empowered […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

More from Inside Life

November 29, 2021

If things weren’t so expensive, no one would work, everyone deserves a partner that will distract them from the choke hold of capitalism with memes. Here are 10 memes you can send to your partner to distract them from work. 1. The “I’m checking up on you” meme  This meme is bound to make your […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X