5 Nigerian Men Share How They Feel When They Hear “Men Are Scum”

March 15, 2021

Every so often, you see a tweet or hear someone quip the all-too-familiar phrase, “Men are scum.” It has become the unofficial tagline for the fight against the ills of the patriarchy. On this, men themselves are often divided on how to process this ubiquitous phrase. I asked 5 Nigerian men how they felt about it. Here’s what they had to say.

Dare, 30

I do have women around me a lot and I hear these things often. Mostly, it makes me feel embarrassed because I do know that men are, indeed, scum. Almost every woman I know has caught some form of stupidity from men. So it’s mostly embarrassment. But, you know, it also makes me think about how much better I could do within my circle or in my own little way by calling out dumb stuff men do. Instead of getting mad at it, I try to make sure that all the men in my circle are sensible and respectable people and they respect women and see them as human beings. I don’t feel personally attacked. Because I know that I don’t do those things that make men scum. 

Paul, 32

I just sigh and move on. I think it’s intellectually dishonest at best, mentally lazy at worst. In my personal life, I strive to never think or say things like “all men/women/tribe are…” because even if it feels good to say, it’s just not true and is an easy way to start accepting ridiculous generalisations. Generalisations that may go on to further negatively impact the way you view that group.

Mark, 31

I feel a very deep sadness when I hear it. First, because I understand why they say it. Nigerian men have definitely done enough to deserve our women’s anger and contempt. I also feel sad because it isn’t helpful. You get what you call into being. Women may have each other, but at the end of the day, men and women still need each other for a properly-rounded society. If men are trash, then all women have is trash. What do you do then, throw us all away?

When I hear women say “men are trash”, I feel sad because while it doesn’t help the conversation, men brought it on ourselves. I also think arguing with women who think men are scum is a bad idea. The appropriate thing any man who feels pressed should do is work to be strong and kind. A man who creates an environment where women feel safe enough to thrive. 

Daniel, 28

It’s a sentiment I completely agree with. From a man masturbating in public to a group of them sexually harassing a woman on a bike — all videos I saw on Twitter just this past week — It’s hard to deny the fact that men make life so much harder for women. 

I’m not interested in the generalisation because it’s unimportant. It’s ‘Not All Men’ until a woman is abused by a close friend or relative, then it becomes, “Why were you alone in a room with him?” I’m not narcissistic enough to treat something so broad and pervasive as a personal attack. 

Kunle,  21

As most people do, I deal with doubt, fear and insecurity. Every day, I come online and see some variation of “men are trash.” Because I belong to a certain gender, I’m presumed to be nothing worthwhile or a sexual predator until I actively try to prove I’m not. And Twitter seems to validate that statement. They tell me that if I’m not trash, I shouldn’t be offended by it. They tell you that men are known to hurt women, so it’s okay for the world to presume you’re nothing worthwhile.

I know I’m a good man. My family and friends feel safe around me. I strive to be a better version of myself every waking moment, but guess what? I have a penis so I should accept the negative tag and work on proving them wrong. Someone tweeted a bad experience with a man and rounded it off with “men are trash”. I was like, how am I responsible for this?

When I hear the phrase, I don’t feel anger or acceptance. I just feel like the world automatically hates me and I must live the rest of my life guilty until I prove otherwise, or be presumed guilty forever.

Have you taken this QUIZ: Can We Guess Your Age Based On Your Taste In Men?

Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

Olufemi Fadahunsi

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

July 5, 2021

We’re collectively working as a society towards making the world more comfortable for people who aren’t conventionally attractive, by societies often unrealistic standards. More men are learning to love the bodies they are in. As part of the conversation to normalise body positivity, I spoke to six men about their bodies and what they felt […]

April 7, 2021

In 2018, Luke*, a 31-year-old content strategist, was working at a media startup that required him to put in a lot of hours — a job he describes as “mentally draining”. However, even when he could clock out, Luke refused to. ‘‘Some days, I would finish working early, but I’d refuse to go back home […]

June 22, 2021

We’ve told you what your footwear says about you. Now listen, here’s what the pants you wear say about you.  Did we lie?. 1. These.. We need to address the most pertinent issues first. If you wear these pants, we have a simple message for you: Stop doing fraud. Have you ever met a yahoo […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

More from Man Dem

September 5, 2021

The subject of today’s Man Like is Enioluwa “Lip Gloss Boy” Adeoluwa, a 21-year-old social media influencer and TV host. He talks about growing up in Akure, accidentally becoming popular from making videos while wearing makeup and how he handles being an unorthodox man in Nigeria. What’s your relationship with your dad like? He’s my […]

August 31, 2021

If you didn’t get the memo, you’re getting it now. The Society of Toxic Masculinity has declared that it is gay for any man to be seen carrying any of these items 1. A handbag Are you modelling for Chanel? Why are you carrying bag? Instead of squeezing all your belongings into two pockets. 2. […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X