The scariest moment in a young man’s life is when he asks a romantic interest out for the first time. A lot of things run through his mind before he convinces himself that the worst response he’ll get is a “no”. For some guys though, they find out that there are things worse than “no”. I spoke to five Nigerian men about the first time they asked someone out.
It was my second year in uni and I was classmates and good friends with this girl. I wanted to ask her out in grand style because it was my first real relationship. I had the whole event planned out — the location, the outfit and my proposal. I wrote a whole speech about why dating me was a good idea, how we’re going to be a different couple, how her cousins and our mutual friends already think we’ll make a good pair, how our personalities complement each other and many other things. She was older and more mature so I knew I had to outdo all the other guys toasting her.
After executing the perfect proposal, I asked her to think about it and respond when she was ready. She immediately replied that she doesn’t need time to think about it and she doesn’t want to keep me waiting. She thought we’d be better off as friends rather than lovers.
I was shocked and devastated. All my weeks of planning went down the drain. I spent the next 17 months trying to convince her or understand her reasons but she never budged. In that time, I missed out on two potentially great relationships all because I was stuck on her. It was even harder to move on because we spent at least 8 hours a day together in med school. After I dropped out, I met someone new and started dating.
Eight years have passed and we’re still friends.
When I was in SS3, I had this giant crush on this babe. Everyone knew because I don’t know how to hide my emotions. One day, my friends gingered me to ask her out. So I went to sit with her and I blurted that I had feelings for her. She said, “Aww, that’s so sweet, but you’re like a brother to me.” I think I still have a small crush on her, even though it’s been over a decade.
My first time? It was horrible. I was in secondary school, and in hindsight, I was very shy and wasn’t very good-looking. Back then, when I wanted to talk to someone, I’d practice my conversation ahead and anticipate what the other person would say. When I asked her out, she said, “And why would I do that?”
I froze and started stuttering because I hadn’t seen that coming. I started saying nonsense about giving it a chance. She just rolled her eyes and continued reading her social studies note. That’s the first time I wanted to die. The embarrassment was too heavy. I didn’t ask anybody out for 3 years after that.
When I think of her rejection, it makes me smile. She was such a no-nonsense babe and it was so hot. I’m grateful that rejection happened because it helped my conversation planning get better.
I was in primary school and had a crush on a girl in secondary school. I still remember the butterflies in my stomach when I walked up to her and asked her out. It was cute af and I was pretty shy but she was super encouraging. I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said she was gonna think about it. It was a Friday so I spent the weekend just on the edge. Monday came along and we met up and she answered me with a kiss. She was my first of many baddies.
I wrote her a cute note, as per the writer that I am. I wasn’t scared because I knew the chances of her saying no was very low. She said she’d think about it and I was lost and confused because I had never heard people say they wanted to think about a proposal. One night, when I was going to my hostel, she pulled me aside and said yes.
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