6 Nigerian Men Discuss Why They Don’t Want To Get Married

April 14, 2021

For the average African man, the assumption is that there’s marriage somewhere on the horizon once they are in the twilight of their late twenties. Playful jests of “when will you marry” start to chime in from all angles. However, not all men believe in for better for worse, nor in death doing them part. To them, a life lived without vows or a married partner is ideal. I spoke to 6 men who don’t want to get married. Here’s what they had to say.

Seun, 31

I’m quite resolute not to get married but recently, societal pressure is getting to me. At some point, you start to wonder if you’re the problem. My baby sister is getting married next month. After her introduction, I faced a panel of uncles and relatives who wanted to know if something was wrong with me. My uncle never stops advertising me to women. My mom is constantly praying and asking people to talk to me. She even makes my friends talk to me about it. Most times, I laugh off their concern, but deep inside I care about my mom’s happiness. However, it seems foolish to marry a person just to make her happy. Plus, I have siblings. They’ll get married and make her happy.

Ikenna, 26

I don’t want to get married because I don’t expect to live very long, due to some hereditary health conditions. I don’t want to get married to someone who I’ll end up leaving high and dry if I die. Same reason I don’t want to have kids. There’s some light pressure from family but it’s mostly friendly banter. 

Toni Dunt, 29

I’m not built for marriage. My personality just doesn’t fit into that sphere. I want to have children, but marriage is off the cards. All my children will come from one woman. I’ll cater for her and the children, but I don’t want to be responsible for her happiness. If she decides to marry someone else, that’s fine too. I’m not willing to sacrifice for anybody. It’s important that I have kids though, they’re something to look forward to in my old age. But all things said, I am only human and I believe in the word of God. If God says otherwise, who am I to say no?

Obi, 32

I’ve never considered being married. Thinking about it makes me cringe. The idea of waking up in the morning to the same person over and over is unbearable. Asides from that, I’ve been surrounded by failed marriages. My mom had come to terms with the fact that I was never going to marry before she passed. She thought her and my dad’s marriage had something to do with my decision. My dad already has 4 grandchildren, so he’ll be fine.

Teflon, 27

TW: Suicide

Growing up, my father and mother quarrelled all the time till they split in 2007. They got back together in 2013 but my mom passed in 2014. My dad went on to date several women and eventually married in 2017. A few months later, they started fighting and were divorced soon after. So forgive me if I’m not exactly thrilled about marriage. I like the idea of having my own person, but I have PTSD from women leaving me has driven me to the decision not to marry. I have an intense fear of women leaving me and would hate to get married only for my wife to leave as well. I don’t want to be another divorce statistic. Better to be a single man without expectations than getting married only to have it end abruptly. I’m also worried that the frustrations of marriage and family life might drive me to jump over the Third Mainland Bridge one day.

Loneliness isn’t a problem. I feel lonely when I’m in relationships. I’m probably not a people person. I’m made to be alone. My family is fine with my decision. They’re okay with anything that doesn’t offend our religion.

Omari, 21

My parents were separated before I was born. Growing up, I had to endure endless fights and the worst toxicity between the two of them. Both of them had different stories about how I was born and I don’t know which to believe. 

My experiences in romantic relationships have been bad too. I don’t blame the women I’ve dated. It’s just that I love too much and nobody can handle that over a long period. Being an only child, I’ve learned to enjoy my company and I plan on living the rest of my life alone.

Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

Olufemi Fadahunsi

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

January 25, 2021

It is common knowledge — at least common Twitter knowledge — that the skincare routine of most Nigerian men begins and ends with a bar of soap and vaseline. For many of the men we spoke with, they don’t see why they should care that much about their skin but others are actively taking time out […]


Now on Zikoko

Rich Nigerian Auntie
June 23, 2021

A rich Nigerian auntie doesn’t refer to those aunties from your father’s side that do nothing but comment on your weight and ask you when you’d be getting married. The rich Nigerian auntie is an aesthetic bigger than one person — and here’s how to be sure you are one… 1. You have the dress […]

June 23, 2021

They say, “money is not everything” but have you seen credit alerts? Particularly these 5 Types listed below? 1. Alert from someone who said “send your account number” ages ago This is how wide you’ll smile. May such people not sleep until they’ve credited you oh. 2. Salary alerts Especially when your salary has finished […]

June 23, 2021

Music they say gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. Music is healing, it is an explosive expression of humanity, something we are all touched by. No matter what culture we’re from, everyone loves music and that is why we are particularly excited about this […]

June 23, 2021

The morning after having sex should be the most romantic, regardless of the relationship you have with the woman you just had sex with. You have to be grateful for her act of service. How you greet her the morning after is the easiest way to show your gratitude. Here’s a list of ways to […]

Recommended Quizzes

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

More from Man Dem

June 22, 2021

We’ve told you what your footwear says about you. Now listen, here’s what the pants you wear say about you.  Did we lie?. 1. These.. We need to address the most pertinent issues first. If you wear these pants, we have a simple message for you: Stop doing fraud. Have you ever met a yahoo […]

June 17, 2021

Everyone has those small, seemingly minor things that turn them off people, commonly called an “ick”. We spoke to seven men about what their unforgivable, weirdest ick is and they had some hilarious answers. Dave People who are too eager are my biggest icks. Maybe it’s my fear of commitment, but the more someone makes […]

June 13, 2021

What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up. Man Like is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it means to […]

June 10, 2021

The story of the 10 Plagues of Egypt you read in the Bible was scary but it didn’t tell of all the plagues. There was one more it failed to mention. No, it’s not COVID-19. It’s women coming to your house and stealing your clothes. The reason why your money is running out is because […]

June 9, 2021

If you’re a Nigerian man, you probably grew up hearing that there are things you shouldn’t talk about because men don’t talk about things like that. Well, we’re here to tell you that they lied. These are six things you should never be afraid to talk about. 1. Our failures Here’s the thing: Everybody fails […]

June 9, 2021

The Twitter ban has affected a lot of people and businesses in different ways. We tend to overlook the impact Twitter has had in various aspects of our lives. One of such aspects is relationships. I spoke to 6 Nigerian men who found love on Twitter. They had such interesting stories. Tosin We had been […]

June 2, 2021

Fat people in Nigeria go through a lot of abuse and degradation from society at large. It seems they get no respite from the constant passive aggression and fatphobia. The male perspective on this topic isn’t often heard, so we talked to 5 men about what it was like to be fat in Nigeria. Tolu […]


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.