6 Things Every Nigerian Man Desperate To Grow A Beard Has Tried

November 3, 2020

As some men around the world observe “No Shave November”, others wish it was “Wish I Could Shave November”. Over time, men that have struggled to grow a beard have been mocked by others, and labelled “Not man enough.”

These conditions have moved them to become desperate and try everything in their power to try and grow a beard. Here are some of the things that every man who is struggling to grow a beard has tried.

1. Weed

Everyone will tell you that marijuana is the answer to your problems and because you’re desperate, you’ll head off the next dealer and buy N500 weed. You’ll dry it, blend it and mix it with either methylated spirit or oil and start applying it every day. Blink twice if I’m telling the truth.

2. Methylated spirit

Methylated spirit can be used alone, but people say it works better with weed, so you mix them both. Every morning and evening, you’ll apply the mix on your beard and wait for the magic to happen. But if someone ever asks you why you have a bottle of methylated spirit by your bedside, you know you’ll just tell that it’s because you’re very prone to injuries.

3. Hair growth products

If you have money but you don’t have a beard, you’ve probably tried this one. After lots of research, you’ll finally choose one that seems to be the answer to all your problems but because it doesn’t work, you won’t buy another when the first one finishes. I know, I’ve been there.

4. Working out

You’ll hear that testosterone is good for beard growth and then further research will help you find out that working out helps to increase your testosterone levels. Well done. Lift those weights, soldier.

5. Random googling

You’re tired of looking like a baby beside your friends and Igbo women, and Google just has to have the answers. So you just go and start googling until you find the answer. Keep it up, king.

6. Snapchat filter

When you’re tired of trying all the real life solutions to beardlessness, remember that technology has made it easy for everyone to be who they want to be. Download Snapchat on your phone, load those beard filters and enjoy yourself my guy. One way or another, this beard must show.


Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

November 1, 2020

What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up. “Man Like” is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it […]

October 31, 2020

If there’s anything Nigerians love, it is football. They eat, sleep, dream and live the damn sport. Not going to lie, it’s a beautiful game. The problem is, every Nigerian man assumes every other Nigerian man watches football and can’t imagine that some don’t. If you’re one of those Nigerian men who don’t like football, […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

More from Man Dem

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X