How To Collect Your Money From An Onigbese

April 6, 2021

Do you have someone owing you money and they have refused to pay? They may also be dodging your calls and flexing on social media? Well, desperate times call for desperate measures so follow this guide to collect your money from all the onigbeses in your life.

1) Take their matter to the mountain

Have you never heard of praying for your enemies? Sometimes, you need to take their full name to the church and pray.

2) Pretend to be a delivery person

When the onigbese in question starts avoiding your calls and is always “out”, you need to get a new number and pretend to be a delivery person. Tell them that anon has paid for something and they need to collect it. On the day of the delivery, bundle them. Sometimes, you need to show people they call you “Scorpion” on the streets.

3) Print wanted posters.

Take one of their pictures and caption it “Wanted, debtor. If found, please return.” Include your social media handle. Some people only know how to respond to disgrace.

4) If they are Christians, give testimony in their church

If you know the church they attend, this is perfect. The Sunday they are in church, agree to give a testimony. Say that you had a dream where the Lord revealed to you that all your debtors who have refused to pay before a certain period of time will fall down and die. After you give the testimony, leave the church. The Onigbese involved will be the one to contact you.

5) Put them up for sale

Please, you won’t actually sell them, but you will advertise them. By the time they see their face circulating all over Instagram and Twitter as “Debtor for sale”, they will pay. Quickly.

6) Drag them like small generator

No pity, no remorse. Just be casting them every day on social media. You can even create an account called “countdown till x pays me back my money”. The problem is that some of these people do not have an iota of shame.

7) Collect a loan and use them as a guarantor

Collect a loan equals to the amount they owe you from a notorious loan shark, and use them as your guarantor. Then, travel out of the country. The loan shark will find them and collect their money back.

8) Fake your death and haunt them

Pretend to die, and ask your family to try collecting the money on your behalf. If the onigbese in question still does not agree, then it is time to wear white cloth, rub dusting powder and haunt them. Go to their house, call their name three times, and ask them to pay you back or they die. Sometimes, you need to instil fear into their hearts. Just make sure the debtor does not see you coming down from an okada on your way to haunt them.


If any of these work and you eventually collect your money, please donate some to us. Thank you

QUIZ: ARE YOU AN ONIGBESE

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Itohan Esekheigbe

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