How To Look Extremely Busy When You Secretly Hate Your Job

March 12, 2020

Just putting it out there: This is a work of fiction and in no way has any relationship to anyone whether living (me) or dead (me if my boss thinks this is a sub). That being said, follow this guide if you want to unlock level 100 in this adulting business.

Type very loudly on your keyboard.

Do this while staring intently at your screen. Everyone will think you are replying to an important email even though you are fighting with your partner over Whatsapp chat.

Always hurry off shouting “So much to do.”

Super busy, not enough time. So much to do, not enough 24 hours.

Eat lunch at your desk and complain about work volume.

Tell anyone who cares to listen about how work keeps you so busy you don’t have time for a lunch break. Lunch break is for the weak.

Stay later than everyone.

Make sure you are the last person to leave work. Tell your colleagues that you are trying to finish a super important project. Then you can use the office Wifi to download Altered Carbon which is a really good series by the way.

Reply to Emails late.

Always start with “sorry for the late reply, I have been so busy” when you reply two days later. It is known: only busy/famous people respond late to emails.

Carry a notepad and jot down at weird intervals.

The easiest way to hack seriousness is by constantly writing down at intervals. It makes you look 5 times more serious than everyone. Take your notepad everywhere you go and make sure everyone sees it. Yes, especially to the bathroom. Take it!

Keep sighing at intervals.

A sigh indicates that you are occupied with a lot of work. Your colleagues will even pity you for taking on so much work.

Stare into the distance and not talk to anyone

Busyness is next to quietness. Don’t talk to anyone, just keep staring like you are trying to figure out something important. Even though you are thinking about whether to eat noodles and egg for dinner or not.


If you like this, you can check out our new column titled ‘A Week In The Life Of” that documents the struggle of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and try to earn a living.

Click here to read the first episode about Odunayo, a keke rider. She shows us what it means to be a breadwinner, a chief, and a woman in a male-dominated field.


What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!

Hassan Yahaya

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

September 27, 2021

2Sure Nigeria – manufacturers of the 2Sure hand and surface sanitizer over the weekend officially launched 2Sure antibacterial soap after throwing the social media space into a frenzy. Unknowingly to many, 2Sure Soap Launch started on the 25th of September with so many Nigerians visiting www.checkspecstatus.com to check their level of being Spec-full or spec-less. […]

September 27, 2021

Sometimes, you’re the cause of your problems and here’s seven reasons why. 1) You’re the one spending your money You see it, you like it, you want it, you got it, and now you’re broke. In as much as Nigeria is helping you spend your money due to high inflation, you’re doing a good job […]

Recommended Quizzes

December 3, 2019

Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

September 1, 2021

August is over, and here are some of our best quizzes from August. Enjoy: 1. QUIZ: Only Ajebutters Can Get 10/21 On This Quiz Some people like to form ajepako when they’re really ajebutter. Are you one of them? Let’s find out. 2. QUIZ: Sorry, If You’re Under 25 There’s No Way You Can Pass […]

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

More from Hustle

Black boy using laptop on a chair
August 21, 2021

Nigeria is hard and everybody is looking for how to make money to ease things, including students. Here’s a list of online jobs for Nigerian students.  1. Digital Marketing  Digital Marketing is one of the jobs with a low barrier to entry. All you have to do is take a course online. It’s flexible too, […]

August 17, 2021

A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week. The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is a club hostess and […]

August 16, 2021

Have you ever bought anything online before? Many people have. Some of us have had amazing experiences but many more people have had really bad experiences. I have worked as an online marketing expert for over 10 years and yet, I have been scammed by an online business. I haven’t been scammed in a long […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X