13 Things Nigerian Parents Say Instead Of “Sorry”

February 12, 2020

Nigerian parents seem utterly incapable of saying “sorry”. When they realise that they’ve messed up — specifically beating you like a criminal — they’ll try to apologise with everything from food to credit. Here are 13 of their most famous lines that really mean “sorry”:

1. “Have you eaten?”

Is that what is important here?

2. “Come and check if this shoe/shirt is your size?”

You’re lucky I like new clothes.

3. “…”

The silence is always deafening.

4. “I left food in the kitchen for you.”

Is food your solution to everything?

5. “Come and stay in the parlour.”

Hian! Is it by force?

6. “Go and take meat.”

I will go and take, but I’m still vexing.

7. “Do you have credit?”

Oh? Now I’m not pressing phone too much?

8. “How much is that thing you said you wanted?”

Something I asked for years ago.

9. “You are still crying?”

You beat me minutes ago. Yes, I’m still crying.

10. “So I cannot correct you again?”

Do you always use eba stick to correct someone?

11. “Is that why you’re squeezing face?”

Should I be shining teeth?

12. “Do you want more food?”

Do you want to kill me with food?

13. “It was for your own good.”

Na so.

NerdEfiko

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

September 30, 2020

I wasn’t a big Runtown fan until I listened to a shitload of his songs for this Ranked. He’s actually got a great body of work, so I ranked his top ten best songs. Here you go: 10. Baby Answer “Girl my love for you be like kilimanjarooo…” and then the rhymes that follow. 2014 […]

February 21, 2019

Oh, come on. Who else would be on this list if not them?   “Isn’t it amazing how stuff can look like the best thing ever one day and then look like absolute garbage the next?”   This is the question I ask myself whenever I revisit music, music videos. and movies from the late […]

chike boo of the booless
February 14, 2020

Chike — “Finders Keepers” Thanks to his jaw-dropping audition, Chike became an instant favourite on the first season of The Voice Nigeria. While he might not have won the show, he certainly made a vital impression. Now, after dropping a bunch of severely underrated singles, he’s come through with his confident debut album, Boo of […]

March 5, 2020

Celebrities are always in our faces with their epic fashion fails. We understand that sometimes they might not like being popular, and that’s why we don’t require so much from them too. All we need is for them to have an epic fashion sense or hire a stylist with one. Too bad some of them […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

More from Pop

September 14, 2021

It was yet another Thursday games night on the BBNaija Season 6 show with TECNO and it was a very creative one. As you know, TECNO has been on the Season 6 journey with the housemates since it began and they have not disappointed. With the TECNO Phantom X dolling out incredible pictures of the […]

September 14, 2021

Watching the BBNaija show comes with different stages. You may not notice it, but somehow you go through a complete metamorphosis from the first week you watch the show to the last week when the winner is finally announced. The viewer you were at the beginning of the show is dramatically different from the viewer […]

zikoko - BBnaija party
September 12, 2021

Last night’s BBNaija saturday party was a vibe! The housemates came through with the right energy and they had a good time. We also got served a side of extra plot twists; new ships emerging and old ships entering new relationship stages. If you missed it, here are a few posts that captured the drama. […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X