Parents might have been the ones that birthed us, but that does not mean everyone likes theirs. 6 Nigerians tell us why they don’t like their parents.
I don’t like my parents because of all the physical and emotional abuse I’ve gone through with them over the years. Some might see it as “discipline” or “training” but all it did was traumatise me and maybe make me develop some concerning kinks. It didn’t help matters that when I tried to talk to them about it so we could bury the hatchet and at least try to live harmoniously, all I got was more abuse.
So, I don’t like one of my parents and since I have moved from hate, this is progress. Now, I just wish they never existed in the first place. I don’t like that my father was not present in my life while growing up and when he came back around the time I was 16, he didn’t come back to stay. He came back to be inconsistent and mess with my mental health. Whenever I feel like I have made progress and I’m getting better, my dad shows up again to take me back to ground zero. If he were dead, this wouldn’t be happening.
How utterly alone talking to them makes me feel. Everything turns into a lecture or a disagreement and it would be nice to just get things off my chest with the people who birthed me. I can’t even see a dress and comment on it without my mother making weird faces and talking about decency. I would have liked to be able to talk to my mum to talk about the stupid boys that broke my heart, but I had to figure all that out myself. I love them, but I don’t like them and I’m happiest when I’m not around them.
My mum and I are currently estranged because she made fun of me for being sexually attacked as a child. She then lied to say I never told her. It was such a horrible lie that I went on with life with no contact with her. She could always be found to be on the side of people who did me harm.
It is her consistent and clear choice. My former brother-in-law was abusive to my sister. My mum would entertain him and even let him know where my sister was staying when he was stalking her. I had to protect myself and with space, I had to think. I knew and had to accept that I did not like her.
I don’t hate my parents. In fact, I like to believe that I love them very much. I just don’t like them. My parents see me as an extension of themselves, constantly forcing their way of life on me. I like to believe I’m an adult and can make certain decisions by myself, or that I know what’s right for me and what isn’t. They don’t think so. It’s irritating and leads to resentment. I really love my parents, but I resent them for not letting me by myself.
I don’t hate them, I just don’t exactly like them. Especially my mum. She’s extremely difficult and ununderstanding. If she wasn’t my mum, I wouldn’t like to be her friend or want to be associated with her, but I don’t hate her. She gives me anxiety and can be very toxic. We don’t have a good relationship and she has never tried to build one but she seems to be forcing it these days which gets me annoyed.
My father on the other hand turns a blind eye when my mum is being herself. That’s why I don’t him so much. I think I have mixed feelings about him but my mum? I don’t.
Help Zikoko keep making the content you love
More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.
Thank you for your support.
We are also cool with Crypto.