9 Things You Should Bring To The Table In Your Next Relationship

October 9, 2021

Have you ever wondered what to bring to the table in a relationship? Don’t worry, you are not the first, neither will you be the last. So long as there is a relationship to enter, there will always be a table to confront. What you need to do is find out what you should bring to it, so that when someone asks you what you bring to the table, you can boldly beat your chest.

Here are a few items we suggest you should bring to the table in your next relationship:

1. Chair.

Red Large Plastic Chair, Usage: Indoor, Outdoor, | ID: 17749249255

You must not assume that the other party will have a chair. And if they have a chair, it’s no problem. You can’t have too many chairs. Who knows, you might decide to open the relationship in future. Where will the new entrants sit?

2. Plate.

Anytime there is a table, the next logical thing is that food will be served. So, if one party provides table and you bring plates, you have successfully complemented them. Besides, does the Bible not say “He has prepared a table for me in the presence of my enemies?” You better balance with your plate and eat whatever food is being served. Just pray it is not breakfast sha.

3. A loaf of bread.

Butterfield-sliced-bread

Imagine bringing this to the table in this economy where a loaf of bread is now N700. Omo, the way you will be valued in that relationship ehn.

4. Tablecloth

Table Cloths (Laundry) – Tristar Laundry Co.

In case one of you moves mad and you have to spill blood. A tablecloth will prevent the table from becoming dirty. Anyone that brings a tablecloth means serious business. Especially if it’s Ankara. That one hides blood stains well. By the way, if you are into table knacks, the tablecloth will cushion the table for you. One tablecloth, multiple purposes. Who says you don’t care about the relationship?

5. Cane.

You’ll need this. Especially if you are dating someone from Lagos. You’ll need it to keep the evil spirit in them at bay. You can also add broom to the pile. You never know what kind of evil spirit you’ll be dealing with.

6. Book and biro.

This is 2021. You need to plan out how the relationship is going to work. You can’t just enter a relationship on vibes. So, carry a book and biro to the table. You get extra credits if its a higher education notebook. It shows you are person who values proper planning.

7. Deodorant.

In case you have the misfortune of dating someone who likes to wear Dior but does not know what a “Dior-dorant” is. It might looks like we are joking, but these things happen.

8. Nail and Hammer.

 In case the table breaks, you can fix it. Who won’t appreciate Bob or Bolanle the builder?

9. And if you don’t have any of these things, bring the table itself.

How to Make a Wooden Table- Step by Step Guide - Ronix Blog

Just bring the table. Let the other person arrange the rest please. You have brought the table, that one is enough hard work.

Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

May 20, 2020

While most of us typically have sex in the bedroom — nothing wrong with wanting to be as comfortable as possible — it’s not always an option, especially when you’re caught up in the moment. So, out of curiosity, we asked a bunch Nigerians to tell us the strangest place they’ve ever had sex. From […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

November 30, 2021

As part of the anniversary celebrations in Nigeria, a month-long celebratory campaign commenced this November with activities to excite and delight consumers across the country, most recent of which is the Share A Trip With Coke campaign. This year, the Coca-Cola System in Nigeria, comprising Coca-Cola and its bottling partner, Nigerian Bottling Company, celebrates its […]

Recommended Quizzes

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

More from Ships

November 20, 2021

The subject of today’s sex life is a 19-year-old lesbian who has had sex with over 200 people. She talks about starting her BDSM journey at 13 , experimenting in boarding school with ropes and canes, and finally slowing down because she found love.

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X