6 Ways To Choose The Perfect Partner From A Long List Of Options

October 23, 2021

Choosing the perfect partner can sometimes be an extreme task for a bad bitch like you and that’s why we are here to help you solve that problem.

Brace yourself, babes. Here’s what to do. 

1. Make a list of most attractive to least attractive. 

This might be a little difficult, especially if you have really good taste, but there’ll definitely be someone on that list who is finer than the other person. It’s best to choose the least attractive person — you can trust that one to not cheat on you. 

2. Wear a blindfold, arrange them in a straight line and throw a knife.

Anyone the knife touches is your partner. The fact that the knife didn’t kill them means they are strong enough to be with you and they are the perfect partner for you. It also means they are going to willingly lay down their life for you.

3. Write out their names on different strips of paper and put it in a bowl of water.

The paper that doesn’t sink has the name of the person that’s for you. Their name not sinking means they can withstand anything that comes their way and they will make sure your relationship with them never sinks. 

4. Create your version of the squid game and make all of them participate. 

You’ll know how serious each of them is by their willingness to participate in the game and how far they’ll fight for your love. The last person standing when the games are over is obviously the one you should spend the rest of your life with. 

5. Ask them; If a house is burning, who will they save. You or their mum?

Anyone who says they’ll save their mum clearly doesn’t love you. Why are they saving their mum who has lived a full life over saving you? Saving their mums over you means they have been lying the whole time about how they feel. 

6. Take their names to a Babalawo and tell him to show you your future partner.

Take their names to a Babalawo to tell you who you’ll end up with. 

N.B: This should always be your last resort.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

May 2, 2020

The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 27-year-old heterosexual man who has been polyamorous for about 2 years. He talks about dating multiple women at once, his insatiable sexual appetite and his adventurous streak. What was your first sexual experience? Does kissing count as a “sexual experience”? I suppose it should, right?  Yeah, I […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

November 30, 2021

As part of the anniversary celebrations in Nigeria, a month-long celebratory campaign commenced this November with activities to excite and delight consumers across the country, most recent of which is the Share A Trip With Coke campaign. This year, the Coca-Cola System in Nigeria, comprising Coca-Cola and its bottling partner, Nigerian Bottling Company, celebrates its […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

More from Ships

November 20, 2021

The subject of today’s sex life is a 19-year-old lesbian who has had sex with over 200 people. She talks about starting her BDSM journey at 13 , experimenting in boarding school with ropes and canes, and finally slowing down because she found love.

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X