Love Life: We Fell In Love Without Ever Meeting

November 26, 2020

Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.


Audio: We Fell In Love Without Ever Meeting

*Klaus, 28, and Lilian, 24, have been in a romantic relationship for about a year without ever meeting each other. For today’s Love Life, they talk about their love and how they cope with a long-distance relationship. 

long distance relationship

What’s the relationship here?

Lilian: Klaus and I are dating. 

Klaus: Lilian is the love of my life. 

How did you meet?

Lilian: In December 2018, we met in a school fellowship group chat.

Klaus:  There was a send-off party organised for her academic class and after the party, they posted some pictures in the group and that was how I saw her picture. My first reaction was, “Wow! This girl has an incredible smile.” So, I sent her a private message. 

Lilian: Really? I didn’t even know this.

Adorable. At what point did you fall for each other? 

Klaus: After talking for a while, we built a rapport. Although she was a little sceptical, the conversations we had were pretty decent. 

Lilian: For me, it wasn’t immediate. It was January or February 2019 when we would talk for 30 – 45 minutes on the phone. We had similar interests. He knew how to sew and I was just learning.

At some point, I realised that I was always looking forward to telling him about my day. That was when it hit me like, “Come oh, you like this guy.”

How soon after did you start dating?

Lilian:  This is a bit complex because I remember he told me he was going back to our school to get something, and then he casually mentioned he was going to see his girlfriend.

Omo, I felt like I was just there catching feelings no one was throwing at me. I started withdrawing because I didn’t want intense conversations anymore. I decided to bury my feelings.

Klaus: What? Really?

Lilian: Yes na. At some point, he told me he had broken up with his girlfriend, but I wasn’t convinced. Then when I went to NYSC camp in November 2019, we resumed talking for hours on the phone. My friends even started teasing me. The emotions I thought I had pushed aside came flooding back. 

Ahhh. I thought we buried those.

Lilian: Same oh. But when he travelled and I couldn’t reach him for several weeks, I started acting weird, snapping at people. Thoughts of him filled my head and it was so invasive.

I tried to deny those feelings because I knew we had not defined things. It was annoying because our story wasn’t a typical boy-meets-girl-and-goes-on-dates-with-her. I was mad at myself because I felt all these emotions without ever meeting him.

Deep down, I knew I was in love with him, but I didn’t want to be the first person to say it. Then on Christmas Day last year, I was about to sleep when he texted me, “I love you.” I called him back immediately and that’s how it started. 

Klaus: I think timing is everything. By the time I asked her out, she was in a better place to accept my request. That night was something else for me. I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t call because I was lost for words.

How do you manage the distance? Do you fight often? 

Klaus: What? Makers of peace like us?

Lilian: Haha. I wouldn’t call what we have ‘fights’; they are more of disagreements. On my end, I am very reserved and like to keep to myself a lot. Sometimes, I tend to unplug from things and it affects the relationship.

We had an argument and that was when I realised that this relationship is different. Most times, I ghost completely after an argument and that’s the end, but in this case, I love how he makes me feel, so we end up sorting things out.

Klaus: I understand that you are very introverted and all but sometimes, I require more. You come through but only with a lot of cajoling on my end. 

Lilian: It’s not all the time na. It’s rare. 

Klaus: Mami, I never really register those things as serious issues. It was just the time when you had serious issues with expressing yourself and it put most of the communication on me. It wasn’t easy. I just think you need to put in a little more effort.

Have you guys ever tried to meet in person? 

Lilian:  We made plans but then Corona hit, so now, we are making new arrangements. 

Klaus: I have it all planned out. Problem is, I have a few work commitments so I just can’t go to see my baby girl yet. 

What’s the hardest part about long-distance dating?

Lilian: Not being able to have the simplest conversations with him physically present. I can’t wait till we see because if just talking to him makes me feel this way, then being with him physically should be explosive. 

Klaus: There is a special feeling that comes with being physically present with a lover. The heightened senses, prolonged moments of intimacy and longer periods of communication without uttering a single word. I just want to spend physical time with my love. 

This is just beautiful. How do you guys deal with the urge to…yunno?

Lillian: Yunno what?

Yunno…

Klaus: We recite by heart the book of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob until the urge to…yunno…dies a premature death. 

LMAO. Killing the spirit of horniness with the good book. Love it. 

Klaus: I like to fantasize for a bit without dwelling too much on it, seeing as nothing can be done about that. Sometimes, I call her and we talk for a while. That’s as good as it gets.

Lilian: Haha. I’m actually speechless by the way but yes. The urge comes and goes. I know I won’t look great as a pregnant corper so that quickly kills the urge anyway. I’m just paranoid, that’s it. 

Wait, is this a celibate relationship? 

Lilian: Yes. 

Klaus: I don’t think so. We are too far apart to define that aspect of our relationship right now. 

Are you worried the chemistry won’t be there in person? 

Klaus: Well, we do a lot of video calls, so I don’t think that’ll be the case.

Lilian: Oh, I’m sure I’m going to like him in person. 

Klaus: You’re making me shy. Haha. My fear is that the time we might get to spend with each other might not be enough for me. 

What do you want the first meeting to look like? 

Klaus: I would prefer the initial moments of our first encounter to be private, so that if there are any bits of excitement, it would be for our sole consumption. Then by the time we’ve exhausted all that excitement, we can look for a public space. I think we might spend a lot of time indoors. 

Lilian: I don’t want it too planned out because there’s already anxiety and nerves. I just want something fun. 

Is this your first time in a long-distance relationship?

Klaus: Yes, it is. Compared to my previous relationships, this feels better too. We have such a strong emotional and intellectual connection. She is the smartest woman, so it feels better.

 Lilian: This is also my first time in this kind of relationship. It still surprises me how I’m able to adapt so much. I usually call him my uncharted territory.

You know how you don’t realise how thirsty you are until you take cool water. That’s how this relationship feels to me. I didn’t know what I was missing until I had it. Bliss. 

What would you consider your biggest fear in this relationship?

Klaus: Not making the best out of the relationship. Caving in to the pressure and expectations people have of us.

Lilian: I fear that in the long run, we will start to yearn for more physical proximity, and the fact that we aren’t in the same city will affect that. 

Would you be willing to change cities to be with each other? 

Klaus: Without hesitation.

Lilian: You’re going to make me cry. Changing cities for me is a huge thing just because I have my family to consider. If work can move me there, then fine. That’s the concrete reason I want to raise with my mum when having that conversation. 

What do you love the most about each other? 

Lilian:  I love that we have things in common so that when we are talking, he doesn’t get lost. I love how much he pays attention to details. Most importantly, I love how he loves me. I love you, baby boy. 

Klaus: I’m glad I got to meet someone like my chubbylove. It’s rare to find someone so special. My introverted sugar and spice mami. She is truly irreplaceable in my life. 

Lilian: Awwn, babe!


Check back every Thursday by 9 AM for new Love Life stories here. The stories will also be a part of the Sex Life newsletter, so sign up here.

If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill this form.

Eris Ekanem

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

June 20, 2020

The subject of this week’s sex life is a 23-year-old man who refused to accept his sexuality for years after discovering he’s bisexual. Now that he’s accepted it, he’s sleeping with older men and getting paid for it.  When did you have your first sexual experience?  When I was 16, I went to a strip […]

September 1, 2020

Let it be known that I’m not proud of myself for thinking of this. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, here are few bedroom slangs we can all borrow from Lagos traffic: 1) “Do you know who I am?” This is best used when your bedroom skills are in doubt. It’s sweeter […]

being the ugly friend
August 24, 2021

We all feel ugly sometimes, but what is it like being or feeling like the ugly friend? In this article, nine Nigerians tell us what it’s like. A, 23 I know I have friends that are much more beautiful than I am. People don’t make jokes about it, but they suggest things to make my […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

More from Ships

September 3, 2021

Oral sex is a form of sexual pleasure performed by orally stimulating the vagina. Not everyone knows how to perform oral sex properly and some women have experienced the displeasure of terribly performed oral sex. Here are some experiences of the worst oral sex some women have received. Chidera, 25 It was the best and […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X